From Illusion to the Truth
The Testimony of Gloria Polo
This is the live testimony of Gloria Polo, a medical dentist, in a church in Caracas,
Venezuela, May 5, 2005.
Gloria Polo died after being terribly burned by a lightning bolt on May 5, 1995
in Bogotá, Colombia; she was judged, and then came back to life. This is her testimony.
God gives me the mission telling me: "You will repeat your testimony
not only 1,000 times, but also you will repeat it thousand times thousand of times!
And woe of those who don't change their ways despite having heard you, because they
will be judged much more severely, just like you will when you come back here again,
even their anointed or their priests, or any of them, because the worst deafness
is that of a man who refuses to hear."
Jesus to Dr. Gloria Constanza Polo
I am publishing this copy of the testimony of Gloria Polo so that it might arrive
to as many people as possible. The title of this booklet is: “From Illusion to the
There are many people, like Gloria Polo, that are under the illusion to be OK according
to their own conscience formed by their own personal criteria, or according to the
criteria of the world and those around them, or according to the criteria of the
devil, BUT NOT ACCORDING TO THE CRITERIA OF GOD, that is, according to THE TRUTH!
This is the fundamental deception of Satan from the beginning of humanity and always
(Gen 3:4-5)! We human beings are truly adept and ingenious in deceiving ourselves,
WILLINGLY, and then forgetting about it so easily! Popes Pius XII and John Paul
II said that the greatest sin is to believe that there is no sin, to have lost the
sense of sin! This is the great trap of today for countless souls.
Today few people go to Mass every Sunday and among these, few go to confession regularly.
I prefer to know the truth while I am still alive even if the truth is very strong
to provoke in me a great uneasiness or to even cause me to enter into crisis (holy!?!?).
If God offers me this great gift of the truth while I am alive, even in a brusque
way like a shock (a lightning bolt!?!), I am still in time make a good confession
and change my life. After death one cannot change anything for all eternity, just
as for the angels one instant after their creation and eternal decision!
I think that this testimony is a gift from God precisely for our times so extraordinary.
I believe that this testimony will help many people of good will, who are not afraid
to confront themselves with the truth, so as to convert themselves to the Truth
and begin to live a new and fulfilling life with Jesus Christ. For us Catholics
it will help us to make a good examination of conscience and then a good sacramental
There is already translated into English a short testimony that Gloria Polo gave
to Radio Maria in Colombia (www.gloriapolo.net).
The following testimony, instead, was given on May 5, 2005 in Caracas, Venezuela.
It is much more complete than the one given to Radio Maria in Colombia and so one
is able to enter into and to understand better this special experience of Gloria
Polo, which I believe is a true gift from God for so many people today who, like
Gloria Polo before her unpleasant incident, have fallen into the fundamental trap
of Satan to believe they are good and holy, according to their freely embraced illusion
and criteria from themselves, the world, or Satan, but not according to the truth.
Perhaps one could summarize this trap with the words of Pope Benedict XVI: “The tyranny of relativism.”
Father Joseph Dwight
If someone might doubt, or think that God does not exist, that life beyond is something
from the films, or that with death all ends, do yourself a favor and read this testimony!
But read it from the beginning to the end! Surely your opinion, perhaps the most
skeptical, will change! We are dealing here with something that really occurred!
Gloria Polo is a woman that “died”, she passed to the other world and returned precisely
to give her testimony to the incredulous. God gives us many proofs, but we always
deny His existence.
Gloria Polo actually lives in Colombia, she continues to exercise the same profession
that she had before this event. She remained with enormous scars, but she has a
normal life; this difference is that now she is a woman with great faith! She travels
a lot, in order to give her testimony to thousands of people, fulfilling the mission
that God confided to her (she has the authorization from the part of the Church
This is a transcription of one of her testimonies, given in a church in Caracas
(Venezuela), May 5, 2005, and it is translated from the Spanish original version.
It is authentic! IT IS NOT A FAKE!
Padre Leone Orlando
This English version was translated from the Italian translation of Padre Orlando,
with the acknowledgement and encouragement of Gloria Polo, by Father Joseph Dwight.
Good morning, brothers. It is wonderful for me to be here, to share with you this
gift so beautiful that the Lord gave me.
That which I am about to recount to you happened May 5, 1995 at the National University
of Bogotá, starting from 4:30 pm.
I am a dentist. I and my 23-year-old cousin, who is also a dentist, were studying
in order to get the specialization. On that day, which was a Friday, about 4:30
pm, we were walking together with my husband toward the Faculty of Dentistry to
find some books that we needed. With my cousin I walked under a small umbrella while
my husband wore a rain coat and to shelter himself better he was walking near the
wall of the General Library. We two were jumping from one side to the other in order
to avoid the puddles while staying close to the trees. When we jumped over a rather
large puddle we were hit by a lightning bolt which left us both carbonized.
My cousin died immediately. The lightning bolt entered from behind, burning him
inside totally, and came out through his feet, leaving him intact externally. Not
withstanding his young age, he was a very religious young man. He had a great devotion
for Baby Jesus and he always carried around his neck His image, a quartz medal.
The authorities said that it was the quartz that attracted the lightning bolt to
my cousin, because it entered into the heart burning everything…
Remaining intact externally, he immediately had a cardiac arrest which did not respond
to the attempts of reanimation by the doctors, and he died on the spot.
As for me, the lightning bolt entered from my shoulder, burning terribly the whole
body, inside and out; in short my flesh disappeared including my breasts, especially
the left one, leaving a hole. It caused to disappear the flesh of my abdomen, of
my legs, of the ribs; it carbonized the liver, it gravely burned the kidneys, the
lungs, the ovaries… and came out through the right foot.
For my contraceptive, I was using a spiral (an intrauterine devise in the form of
a T), and because of the material with which it is made (copper) it is a good conductor
of electricity; the lightning bolt carbonized and pulverized also the ovaries which
became like two raisins.
I remained in cardiac arrest, just about without life, with the body that was jumping
due to the electricity that was still present in that place.
This body that you see here, now, this reconstructed body, is the fruit of the mercy
of Our Lord.
But this is only the physical part… The good part is that, while my body laid there
carbonized, in that same moment I found myself inside a beautiful white tunnel of
light, a wonderful light, which made me feel a joy, a peace, a happiness that I
do not have words to describe the greatness of that moment. It was a true ecstasy.
I looked, and in the end of that tunnel I saw a white light, like a sun, a beautiful
light… I say white to tell you a color, but we are talking about colors that cannot
be compared to those that exist on the earth. It was a splendid light; I felt from
it a source of peace, of love, of light…
When I went up in this tunnel toward the light, I said to myself: “Caramba, I’m
And so I thought about my children and I sighed: “Woe is me, my God, my little children!
What will my children say? This mother so occupied, that she never had time for
them…” In fact, I left early every morning, and I did not return before eleven at
And so I saw the reality of my life, and I felt much sadness. I had left my home
determined to conquer the world, but at what price! … Putting in the second place
my home and my children! … In that moment of emptiness due to the absence of my
children, without feeling anymore my body, nor the dimension of time or of space,
I looked, and I saw something very beautiful: I saw all of the people of my life…
In one single moment, in the same moment, all the people, those living and those
dead. I was able to embrace my great grandparents, grandparents, parents (who were
dead)… everyone! It was a moment of fullness, wonderful. I understood that I had
deceived myself with the story of reincarnation: they had told me that my grandmother
had been reincarnated, but without telling me where. Since the information cost
me too much money, I let it go and I did not delve into the research in order to
know in whom she might have been reincarnated. You know, I defended the theory of
reincarnation… And now, there, I had just embraced my grandmother, my great grandmother…
I embraced her well, as I could do with all the people who I knew, living and dead.
And all in one single instant. My daughter, when I embraced her, became frightened:
she was 9 years old, and she felt my embrace, because I could also embrace the living
(only that, normally, we do not feel this embrace).
I almost did not realize the passage of time during that moment so beautiful. And
then, now that I no longer had the body, it was stupendous to see the people in
a whole new way. Before, in fact, I only knew how to criticize: if one was fat,
skinny, ugly, elegant, not elegant, etc.
When I spoke about others, I had to always criticize something. Now no: now I see
people from within, and how beautiful it was… While I embraced them, I saw their
thoughts, their sentiments…
So I continued to go forward, full of peace, happy; and the more I went up, the
more I felt I was about to see something very beautiful. In fact, toward the bottom,
I sighted a beautiful lake… yes! I see a stupendous lake, trees so beautiful, but
so beautiful, wonderful… And very beautiful flowers, in all colors, with an exquisite
perfume, so different from our flowers… Everything was so beautiful in that stupendous
garden, so wonderful… Words do not exist that can describe it, all was love.
There were two trees, to the side of something that seemed to be an entrance. It
is all so different from what we know down here: you can not find in the world similar
colors, up here it is all so beautiful! … It was in that moment that my cousin entered
in that wonderful garden.
… I knew! I felt that I must not, I could not enter there...
In that same instant I hear the voice of my husband. He laments and cries with a
profound sentiment, and cries: “Gloria!!! Gloria! Please, do not leave me! Look
at your children, your children need you! Gloria, go back! Go back! Do not be a
I heard everything, and I saw him cry with much pain... Alas, in that moment Our
Lord granted me to leave… But I did not want to return! That peace, that peace in
which I was wrapped, fascinated me! But, slowly slowly, I began to descend again
toward my body, which I found without life. I saw it lifeless on a stretcher of
the National Nursing University. I saw the doctors who were giving me electric shocks
to my body, to pull me out of cardiac arrest. I and my cousin remained more than
two hours laid on the ground, because our bodies were giving off electric discharges,
and they could not be touched. Only when the electric charge was completely discharged,
they could help us. And then they began the attempts to reanimate me.
I looked, and I rested the feet of my soul (also the soul has a human form), my
head made a spark and with violence I entered, because the body seemed to suck me
inside. It was an immense pain to enter: there came out sparks from all over and
I felt myself jammed into something very small (my body). It was as if my body,
with this weight and stature, suddenly entered into a baby’s outfit, but of iron.
It was a terrible suffering, I felt the intense pain of my burned flesh, the body
totally burned caused an indescribable pain, it was blazing terribly and gave off
smoke and vapor… I heard the doctors cry out: “She is coming back! She is coming
They were very happy, but my suffering was indescribable! My legs were frightfully
black, there was live flesh on the body and on the arms! The problem of the legs
was complicated when they considered the possibility of amputating them!
… But for me there was another terrible pain: the vanity of a worldly women, and
enterprising woman, intellectual, the student… Slave to the body, to beauty, to
the fashion, I dedicated four hours every day to aerobics; enslaved to having a
beautiful body, I underwent massages, diets, injections… Basically everything you
can imagine. This was my life, a routine of slavery in order to have a beautiful
I always used to say: if I have beautiful breasts, they are to show them; why hide
I said the same thing about my legs, because I knew I had spectacular legs, nice
abdominal muscles… But in an instant, I saw with horror how my whole life had been
only a continual and useless care of the body… Because this was the center of my
life: love for my body. And now, I no longer had a body! In the place of the breasts
I had startling holes, especially the left one, which was practically gone. The
legs were a sight to be seen, like fragments, but without flesh, black as coal.
Note: the parts of the body that I took care of and esteemed the most, were the
ones that were completely burned and literally without flesh.
They then brought me to the “Social Seguro”, where they operated on me immediately,
and began to remove all the burned tissue. While they were anaesthetizing me, I
again came out of my body, worried about my legs, when all of a sudden, in that
same moment, terrible and horrible…
But first I must tell you something, brothers: I was a “dietetic (cafeteria) Catholic”,
I was for my whole life, because my relationship with God was taken care of in a
25 minute Sunday Mass, and that’s all. I went to the Mass where the priest spoke
less, because I got tired! What anguish I felt, with those priests who spoke a lot!
This was my relationship with God! For this all the worldly currents drug me along:
I lacked the protection of prayer well done with faith, even in the Mass! One day,
when I was studying for the specialization, I heard a priest affirm that hell does
not exist, and not even the demons! It was precisely what I wanted to hear! I immediately
thought to myself: if the demons do not exist, and there is no hell, then we all
go to Heaven! And thus, what is there to fear?!
What makes me most sad now, and I confess to you with great shame, is that the only
tie that still held me in the Church, was the fear of the devil. When I heard that
hell does not exist, I immediately said: very good, if we all go to Heaven, it is
not important what we are or what we do!
This determined my total moving away from the Lord. I distanced myself from the
Church and I began to speak badly, with cusswords, etc. I no longer had any fear
of sin, and I began to ruin my relationship with God. I began to say to everyone
that the demons do not exist, that they are the inventions of the priests, that
they are the manipulations on the part of the Church, and finally… I arrived to
the point of saying to my colleagues at the University that God does not exist,
that we were products of evolution, etc. etc., succeeding in influencing many people.
Let us return now to the operating room: when I saw myself in that situation, what
terrible fright! I finally saw that the demons existed, and how, and they came to
seek precisely me! They came to present to me the bill, one could say, since I had
accepted their offers of sin! And these offers are not free! One pays!! My sins
had their consequences...
In that moment, then, I began to see come out, of the wall of the operating room,
so many persons, apparently common, normal, but with a look full of hate, diabolic,
frightening, who made my soul tremble: I immediately perceived that we were dealing
with demons. I had in myself a special awareness: I understood in fact that to each
one of these I owed something, that sin is not gratuitous, and that the principle
lie of the devil is to say that he does not exist: this is his best strategy in
order to work as he pleases with us. I realized that yes, he exists, and that he
came to surround me, to seek me! Just imagine the fright, the terror!!
My scientific and intellectual mind, now did not help me at all. I went around in
the room, I was trying to get back into my body, but this flesh of mine did not
receive me, and the scare was terrible! I ended up fleeing as fast as I could, I
passed through, I do not know how, the wall of the operating room, hoping to be
able to hide myself in the aisles of the hospital, but when I passed the wall… Down!
I made a jump into emptiness…! I headed toward several tunnels which went down toward
the bottom. At the beginning there was still a little light, like beehives in which
there were so many people: young ones, old ones, men, women, who were crying, and
with frightening screams they were grinding their teeth… And I, ever more terrified,
continued to descend, seeking to get out of there, while the light was going away
diminishing… I carried on roaming in those tunnels in a frightening darkness, until
I arrived to an obscurity that cannot be compared to anything else… I can only say
that, in comparison, the darkest obscurity on earth is not even comparable to the
full sunlight at midday. Down there, that same obscurity generates pain, horror,
shame, and stinks terribly. It is a living obscurity, yes, it is alive: there the
mind is dead or inert. At the end of my descent, running along all these tunnels,
I arrived to a level place. I was frantic, with a will of iron to get out of there:
the same will that I had to ascend in life, but now it did not help me at all, because
there I was and there I remained. At a certain point I saw the ground open up, like
a great mouth, enormous! It was alive! Alive! I felt my body empty, empty in a startling
way, and under me an incredible frightening abyss, horrible; that which chilled
me the most was that, from there down, you did not feel even a little Love of God,
not even a little drop of hope. That chasm had something that sucked me into it.
I cried out like a mad women, terrorized, feeling the horror of not being able to
avoid that descent, because I realized that I was irretrievably sliding inside…
I knew that, if I might enter, I would not at all have remained there, but I would
have continued to descend, without ever being able to come back up. It was this,
the spiritual death for my soul.
The spiritual death of the soul: I was irretrievably lost forever. But in this horror
so great, precisely while I was about to enter, St. Michael the Archangel seized
me by the feet… My body entered in that abyss, but the feet remained held on high.
It was a terrible moment and truly painful. When I arrived there, the light that
still was left in my spirit annoyed those demons; all the horrifying unclean beings
that dwell there, immediately attacked me. Those horrible beings were like larva,
like bloodsuckers that were trying to block off the light. Imagine the horror in
seeing myself covered by such creatures… I was crying out, I was crying out like
a mad women! Those things were burning! Brothers, they are living darkness, it is
a hate that burns, which devours us, which makes us naked. There are not words to
describe that horror!
Note that I was an atheist, but there I began to cry out: "Souls of Purgatory! Please,
pull me out of here! I beg you, help me!"
While I was crying out, I began to hear crying thousands and thousands of persons,
youth… Yes, above all youth, with so much suffering! I perceived that there, in
that horrible place, in that quagmire of hate and of suffering, they were gnashing
their teeth, with screams and laments that filled me with compassion and that I
will never be able to forget… (Already 10 years have passed, but I still cry and
suffer, when I remember the suffering of all those persons)… I was saying, I understood
that in that place there were those persons who, in one moment of desperation, they
committed suicide… Now they are in those torments, with those horrible beings near
them, surrounded by demons that torment them. But the cruelest of these torments
was the absence of God, because there one does not feel God. I understood that,
those who in one moment of desperation took their lives, had to remain there, within
those torments, until all the time that they might have spent on the earth had passed:
because all those who kill themselves, go out of the Divine Order.
Those poor persons, above all so many youth, many, many… They cry and suffer much…
If man might know the suffering that awaits him, never would anyone make the decision
to take his life!
Do you know what the greatest torment is, there? It is to see how one’s own parents,
or relatives, who are alive, are crying and suffering with a tremendous sense of
guilt: if I would have punished, or if I would not have punished, if I had said
to him, or if I had not said to him, if I had done this or that… In the end, these
regrets so terrible, - a true hell for those who love them and remain in this life
- , they are what makes them suffer the most. It is the greatest torment for them,
and it is here that the demons rage, showing these scenes:
“Look how your mother cries, look how she suffers, look how your father suffers,
look how they are desperate, how they are distressed, how they blame themselves
and discuss, accusing each other reciprocally, look at all the suffering that you
caused them. Look how they rebel against God. Look at your family… All this because
of your fault!”
That which these poor souls need, is that those who remain down here might begin
a walk of conversion, that they might change their life, that they might do works
of charity, that they might visit the sick… And that they might offer Masses in
suffrage for the soul of the dead. These souls benefit enormously from all of this.
In fact, the souls who find themselves in Purgatory can no longer do anything for
themselves. Nothing! But God yes, through the Mass. Also we must help them in this
I thus understood that those poor souls could not help me, and in this suffering,
in this anguish, I began again to cry out: “But here there is an error! See I am
a saint! I never stole! I never killed! I never did anything evil to anyone! On
the contrary, before failing in my business, I imported the best products from Switzerland,
I extracted and adjusted teeth, many times I did not require the clients to pay
if they were unable. I bought things and I gave them to the poor! What am I doing
I was vindicating my rights! I, who was so good, who would have to go straight to
Heaven, what was I doing here?!
I went every Sunday to Mass, even though I considered myself an atheist and I did
not pay attention to what the priest was saying, I never missed Mass. If I missed
Mass five times in my whole life, it was a lot! What is it that I was doing there?!
“But what am I doing, here? Pull me out of here! Take me out of here!” I continued
shouting terrified, with those horrible beings hanging on to me!
“I am Catholic! I am Catholic, please, get me out of here!”
When I shouted out that I was Catholic, I saw a little light: and you see that a
small light even very small, in that darkness, is the maximum, it is the greatest
gift that one can receive. I saw some steps at the top of this chasm, and I see
my father (who died 5 years before) almost at the entrance of the abyss. He had
a little bit of light; and four more steps up I saw my mother, with much more light
and in a position like this, as in prayer. As soon as I saw them, I experience a
joy so great that I began to cry out: “Dad! Mom! What joy! Come and take me! Come
and take me out of here! Dad, Mom, please, get me out of here! I beg you, carry
me out of here! Carry me away!!”
While all this was happening, my body was in a deep coma: I was intubated, connected
to the machines, and agonizing. Air was not entering into my lungs, the kidneys
were not working… If I was connected to the machinery, it was only because my sister,
who is a doctor, had insisted with her colleagues, invoking the motive that they
were not God. In fact, they thought that it was not worth while to keep me alive,
and they spoke in these terms to my relatives: they said it was not the case to
keep going relentlessly, that it was better to let me die tranquilly, because in
any case I found myself in agony. My sister insisted so strongly, that they…
Do you know the incoherence? I defended euthanasia, the right to die in a dignified
The doctors did not let anyone enter where I was, except this my sister doctor,
who remained continually next to me.
When my soul, which was in the beyond, saw my parents, my sister, who was near my
body in coma, she heard me clearly crying out to them, so happy, that they might
come to take me.
Perhaps it might have happened to one of you to have heard a person in the state
on unconsciousness to cry out, or pronounce some words: this is what happened with
me. I almost cause my sister to die of fright! In fact, I began to cry out with
joy when I saw them, asking them to come to take me; and so my sister, who heard
all of this, shouted: “Now it is that she is dead, my sister! My mother and my father
have come to take her! Go away, do not take her! Go away, Mom, please; go away,
Dad, please: do not take her! Do you not see that she has small children! Do not
take her away! Do not take her away!”
The doctors had to pull her out of there, thinking that my poor sister was delirious,
that she might be in a state of shock; which would have been normal, because it
was not a small thing that was happening: the death of my cousin, to go to take
the corpse to the mortuary, the sister who dies, does not die, but will not live
more than 24 hours, according to the opinion of the doctors… It was by now three
days that she went forward in this anguish, and this without any sleep. Do not be
surprised that they believed her to be exhausted and prey to hallucinations…
For my situation, imagine what joy when I see my parents! In that place, in that
situation so horrible in which I found myself, I see my parents!
When they looked toward me and they saw me there, you cannot imagine the immense
pain that their faces revealed. Since there we perceive and we see the sentiments
of the others; I saw the pain that they felt, that suffering of theirs so great.
My father began to cry so, so much, and he cried out: “My daughter! Oh, no! My God,
my daughter no! My God, my little daughter no!”
My mother was praying, and when she looked toward me and saw my sorrow in my eyes,
but at the same time nothing took away the peace and the sweetness of her face,
not even a tear! Instead of crying, she lifted up the eyes, then turned to look
toward me. I understood with horror that they could not pull me out of there! This
augmented my suffering, seeing them there sharing my pain without being able to
do anything for me! I understood also that they were there to give an account to
the Lord of the education that they had given to me. They were the tutors, to which
was confided the job of looking after the talents that God had given to me. With
their life and their testimony, they had to protect me from the attacks of Satan.
And they had to nourish the graces, that God had put in me by way of Baptism. All
parents are the guardians of the talents that God gave to the children.
When I saw their suffering, above all that of my father, I cried out again, desperate:
“Take me out of here! Take me out of here! I do not have fault to be here, because
I am Catholic! I am Catholic! Pull me out of here!”
When I cried out again that I was Catholic, brothers, I heard a Voice, so sweet,
but so sweet… So beautiful, that it filled everything with peace and love, and made
my soul jump. Those horrible creature that were clinging to me, at hearing it, immediately
prostrated themselves in adoration, and asked permission to withdraw themselves,
because they could not stand the sweetness of that Voice: then something was opened,
like a mouth hanging down, and they fled with fear. Just imagine this! When I see
those beings, those horrific demons, there prostrated… At the mere hearing the Voice
of the Lord, (notwithstanding the pride of Satan, and thus they hear it as something
very unpleasant), they throw themselves on their knees!
Then, I saw the Most Blessed Virgin prostrated, when the priest elevated Our Lord
in the Host, during the Mass that was celebrated for the soul of my cousin. The
Virgin Mary interceded for me! Prostrated at the feet of Our Lord, she gathered
all the prayers that the people of my earth made for me, and she presented them
You know, at the moment of the elevation, when the priest lifts up the Host, one
feels the presence of Jesus, everyone prostates themselves on their knees, even
the demons! … And I, who went to the Mass without the least of respect, without
giving any attention, with gum to chew in my mouth, sometimes dozing off, looking
around, lost in a thousand banal thoughts…! And then I had the guts to complain,
full of pride, that God did not listen to me when I asked something from Him!
Believe me, it was staggering to see how, at the passing of Our Lord, all those
creatures, all those frightening beings, threw themselves on the ground, in an impressive
I saw the Virgin Mary, graciously prostrate at the feet of the Lord, praying for
me, in adoration before Him. … And I, a sinner, with my rubbish, treating Him without
any respect, and saying that I was good… Yes, miserably good! Denying and blaspheming
Imagine what a sinner I was, when even the demons prostrated themselves on the ground,
at the passing of the Lord Jesus Christ…!
That Voice, so beautiful, says to me: Very well, if you are Catholic, tell me which
are the commandments of the Law of God!”
… Think of the fright! ... That question I just did not expect! I only knew that
there were 10! And then… nothing more!
“And now, how do I cope with this?”, I was thinking, afflicted. I remembered then
that my mother used to say that the first commandment was love, she spoke of it
always… Love of God and love of neighbor. In the end, the discourses of my mother
were useful for something, I said to myself. So I chose this answer, hoping that
it would suffice and that the rest might not be noticed…! I was thinking to get
by in this way, as I always did when I was in life: in fact, I always had the answer
ready, the perfect answer, I always succeed in justifying myself and in defending
myself in such a way, that no one discovered that which I did not know. Now I thought
to manage in the same way. And I began to say: “The first commandment is: to love
God above everything else, and… the neighbor as myself.”
“Very well: - he said to me – and you did this? Did you love?
Totally confused, I replied: “I… yes! Yes, I yes. Yes!”
But that wonderful Voice said: “No!!!”
I assure you that when he said to me: “No!”, then it was that I felt the strike
of the lightning bolt! In fact, I still did not feel on which side it had struck
me… But when I heard that “No!”, I felt all the pain of the lightning bolt!... I
felt naked, all my masks fell, and I remained uncovered.
That soft Voice continued to say to me: “No!!! You did not love your Lord above
all things, and even less did you love your neighbor as yourself! You made of yourself
a God that you modeled on yourself, on your life! Only in moments of extreme necessity,
or in suffering, you remembered your Lord. And then yes, you knelt down, you cried,
you asked, you offered novenas, you proposed to yourself to go to Mass, to prayer
groups, asking for some graces or a miracle… When you were poor, when your family
was humble, when you still desired to become a professional, then yes, everyday
you used to pray on your knees, whole hours, beseeching your Lord! You would pray,
asking me to pull you out of that poverty, that I might permit you to become a professional
and to be someone! When you found yourself in need and you needed money, then yes,
you promised: I pray the Rosary, but You, Lord, grant me a little money!
This was the relationship that you used to have with your Lord! Never, did you keep
one promise made, not even one! And beyond not keeping the promises, you never thanked
And the Lord insisted on this: “You gave your word, you made a promise to your Lord,
but you never kept them!”
The Lord showed me one of my many prayers: when I asked Him the grace to have my
first car, I would pray, and very humbly I would ask that please, he might grant
also only a little car, even an old one, it is not important… just so it works.
But as soon as I obtained what I desired, I did not even say a “thanks” to the Lord;
and eight days later, not only did I not thank Him, but already I denied Him and
I spoke bad about Him. He showed me how, in all the graces that He granted me, not
only was I lacking in regards to the made promises, but I did not even give thanks.
I saw the Lord in a truly sad way. You know, my relationship with God was like a
“BANK CASH DISPENSER”: I put in a Rosary, and He was supposed to give me money…
and if he did not give it to me, I rebelled. The Lord showed me all of this. Just
as soon as he permitted me to have my profession, - and in consequence, to begin
to have a certain prestige and also money - , the name of God was already not comfortable
to me… I began to feel I was great, without ever having for Him the least expression
of love, or gratitude.
To be grateful? Never! Not even a ‘thank you’ for the new day that he gave me, or
for my health, or for having a roof where I lived... Or even a prayer of compassion
for those poor little ones who do not have a house, nor something to eat. Nothing!!!
Ungrateful to the max! More than anything else, I became more incredulous in regards
to my Lord, while I believed in Venus and Mercury for fortune, I went blindly after
astrology, saying that the stars direct our life. I began to believe in all the
doctrines that the world offered me. I believed, for example, in reincarnation:
I convinced myself, simply, one would die and would re-begin from the top… and I
forgot it cost a price of Blood to my Lord Jesus.
The Lord continued: “All that you had, it was not given to you because you had asked
for it, but it was a blessing that you received from Heaven: you, instead, said
to have obtained all by yourself, because you were a worker, a fighter… That everything
you had conquered with your hands, and by the force of study. No! Look: how many
professionals are there, more qualified than you, who work as much or more than
The Lord gave me an examine of the 10 Commandments, showing me that which I was:
that what in words I said to adore and love God, but on the contrary I adored Satan.
In my outpatients’ clinic a lady who read the cards would usually come, and she
did some magic in order to set free from bad influences, and used to say: “I do
not believe in these things… But do it anyway, because one never knows…” And she
did her devilment. In a corner where no one saw, she put a horseshoe and an aloe
plant, in order to keep away bad fortune, and other such things. Do you know what
I did, permitting this? I opened the doors to the demons, so that they could enter
at their pleasure, and to circulate freely, merrily, in my outpatients’ clinic and
in my life. You see that all this is shameful. God made an analysis of my whole
life, in the light of the 10 Commandments, he showed me that which I was in my relationships
with the neighbor, and with Him. I criticized everything and everyone… And everyone
pointed with their finger, “holy Gloria”…! He showed me when I said to love God
and neighbor, but on the contrary I was very envious. Now I saw that, when I deceived
someone or lied, it was like committing perjury, because in the moment in which
I said: “I am Catholic”, I declared that Jesus Christ was my Lord and at the same
time I gave testimony to lies and deception! How much evil I did to so many people!
As for the rest I was never grateful to my parents, for all their sacrifice and
commitment so that I might have a profession and to triumph in life; for all the
sacrifices and the efforts that they did… But I did not see them, I ignored them,
and as soon as I had my work, they even diminished in my eyes: to the point to be
ashamed of my mother, for her humility and poverty.
Jesus continued, showing me what a spouse I was: I passed the whole day grumbling,
from when I awoke. My husband said: “Have a nice day!”. And I: “maybe it will be
for you!! Look at the rain!”. I always grumbled and contradicted everything.
… As fare as sanctifying the holy days? What fright! What sorrow I felt! Jesus made
me see how I would dedicate four and even five hours to my body with gymnastics,
and not even ten minutes a day for my Lord, not even a thank you, or a nice prayer…
no, nothing! On the contrary, sometimes I even recited the Rosary beginning it real
fast, during the interval of the soap opera. I thought to succeed in praying it
during the commercials. I began rapidly, without giving attention to what I said,
more worried if the soap opera might had already begun or not, and to what point
I had arrived. In short, without elevating the heart to God.
Jesus continued to show me how I was in no way grateful in regard to Him, and the
laziness that I had in going to Mass. When I still lived with my parents, and my
mother obliged me to go, I said to her: “But, Mom, if God is everywhere, what need
do I have to go to church for the Mass?” Clearly, for me it was very convenient
to talk like this… And Jesus showed this to me. I had the Lord twenty-four hours
a day for me, all my life God took care of me, and I so lazy to dedicate to Him
a little time on Sunday, to show Him my gratitude, my love for Him… But the worst
thing was to know that, to frequent the church, meant to nourish my soul. I, instead,
dedicated myself totally to the care of my body, I became a slave to my flesh, and
I forgot this particular: that I had a soul! And never did I take care of it.
Regarding the Word of God, I even said, impudently, that the one who read the Bible
a lot, became crazy. I arrive to the point to be a blasphemer, and the incoherence
of my life brought me to say: “But what Most Holy? And God would be present there?
In the ciborium and in the chalice? … The priest should add brandy, to give it good
To what point did I arrive in degrading my relationship with God! I left my soul
without nourishment, and as if that were not enough, the only thing I did was to
criticize the priests. If you knew, brothers, how bad I felt about this, before
Jesus! The Lord showed me how my soul was reduced due to all these criticisms. Beyond
everything else, consider the fact that I declared a priest to be homosexual, and
the whole Community came to know this… You cannot imagine the evil that I did to
that priest! No, you cannot imagine it! I cannot tell you about it, because it would
be too long. I tell you only that, one word only, has the power to kill and destroy
souls. Now I saw all the evil that I had done! My shame was so great, that there
are no words to describe it! Can I only beg you to not do the same: do not criticize!
Pray! I saw that the gravest faults which stained my soul, and that drew more curses
in my life, was to speak evil about the priests!
My family always criticized the priests. From when we were small, my father, and
everyone in the house, used to criticize and say: “These priests are womanizers,
and have more money than us... And they are this, and they are that…”, and we would
Our Lord said to me almost shouting: “Who did you think you are, to make yourself
god and judge my consecrated ones?! They are of flesh, and the sanctity is to them
given for the benefit of the communities in which I put there as a gift. And the
communities have the obligation to pray for him, to love him and to support him”.
Might you know, brothers, that, when a priest falls, it will be the community to
respond regarding his sanctity. The devil hates Catholics, immensely more the priests.
He hates our Church, because where there is a priest who consecrates…
I open a parenthesis: you must all know that the priest, even though remaining a
man, is a consecrated one of the Lord, recognized by the Eternal Father, so that
in a piece of bread happens a miracle, a transubstantiation: by the hands of the
priest, it becomes the Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ… And these hands,
the devil hates them intensely, terribly. The devil detests us Catholics due to
the Eucharist, because the Eucharist is an open door for Heaven, and it is the only
door! Without the Eucharist, no one enters into Heaven. When a person is agonizing,
God comes beside this person, independent of the religion that he belongs to or
his beliefs; the Lord reveals himself and says to him affectionately, with Love
and Mercy: “I am your Lord!” And if the person asks for pardon and accepts this
Lord, something happens that is difficult to explain: Jesus immediately brings this
soul to where the Mass is being celebrated in that moment, and the person receives
Viaticum, which is a mystical communion. Because only the one who receives the Body
and Blood of Jesus Christ, can enter into Heaven. It is something mystical, it is
an immense grace that we have in the Catholic Church, a grace that God has given
to our Church; and many people speak badly about this Church, and yet by way of
Her they receive salvation and go to Purgatory, and there they continue to benefit
by the grace of the Eucharist. They save themselves. They go to Purgatory, but they
are saved! Because of this the devil hates very much the priests: because where
there is a priest, there are the hands that consecrate the bread and the wine, making
them to become for us the Body and the Blood of Jesus Christ. Thus we must pray
very much for the priests, because the devil attacks them constantly.
Our Lord showed me all of this.
Only by way of the priest do we have the sacrament of reconciliation, for example!
Only by way of him do we obtain the pardon of our faults. Do you know what the confessional
is? It is the “bathing of souls”! Not with water and soap, but with the Blood of
Christ! When my soul was filthy, black due to sin, if I would have confessed, it
would have been washed with the Blood of Christ, furthermore I would have broken
the strings that held me tied to the evil one. Would he not therefore have reason,
the devil, to detest the priests?! Also those who might have been great sinners,
have the power to absolve sins. And the Lord showed me how: in the Wound of His
You know, there are things which surpass the intellect of man because they are spiritual
realities, and yet we are talking about truths more real than ours… Through this
Wound, I was saying, a soul rises up to the Divine level, to the level of the Divine
Mercy, to the door of Mercy, it rises up to the Heart of Jesus, eternal Priest;
and there, Jesus places His Cross, bleeding in His Eternal Present… And that soul
returns clean. Now I see how my soul returned clean in the confession, and in every
sin that I confessed, Our Lord breaks the stings that united me to Satan. (And I,
unfortunately, stayed away from confession!)
… But all this happens only by way of the priest. Thus we have the obligation and
the duty to pray for them, so that God might protect them, might enlighten them,
and might guide them.
For all these motives the devil hates terribly the Catholic Church and the priests.
I would like to speak to you about the great grace that is the sacrament of matrimony.
When we enter into church the day of our wedding, at the moment in which we say
our “yes”, promising to be faithful for ever, in joy and in sorrow, in health and
in sickness, etc., do you know to Whom we promise? Nothing more, nothing less than
to God the Father! Our God is enthralled with matrimony! He is the only Witness,
when we say these words. Each of us, when we will die, will see this moment precisely
in the Book of Life. Then we will catch sight of an indescribable golden light,
an intense splendor: God the Father writes these words in the Book with letters
of gold, so beautiful.
In the moment in which we receive the Body and the Blood of Jesus, we form a pact
with God, and with the person whom we have chosen to share together a life. When
we pronounce these words, we say them to the Most Holy Trinity.
I saw that on the day of my matrimony, when myself and my husband received the Most
Holy Eucharist, we were no longer two, but three! We two, and Jesus! In fact, as
soon as we communicate with Jesus, He unites us as one thing only! He places us
in His Heart and we become ONE, forming with Jesus a holy trinity! “Let man not
separate what God has united”.
Now I ask: who separates this ONE? No one! No one, brothers, can separate it! No
one, after the matrimony has been consummated! And if the two spouses arrive virgin
to the matrimony, you cannot imagine the blessings that are poured on this matrimony!
I saw also the matrimony of my parents. When my father slipped the ring on the finger
of my mother, and the priest declared them husband and wife, Our Lord consigned
to my father a staff of wood, shining with Light, which seemed a little bent. We
are dealing here with a grace that God gives to the man: it is a gift of authority
of God the Father, so that this man might be able to guide this little flock who
are his children, born in matrimony, and also to defend the matrimony and the children
from so many evils that attack the families.
To my mother, God the Father placed in the heart something that seemed like a sphere
of Fire, so beautiful: it signifies the Love of God, the Holy Spirit. I knew that
my mother was a very pure woman. God was happy, joyous. You cannot imagine how many
unclean spirits seized my father in that moment. These spirits seem like larva,
bloodsuckers. You know, when someone has relationships outside of marriage, the
evil spirits immediately attach themselves to all the parts of the person; they
begin with his sexual organs, they take possession of the flesh, of the hormones;
they occupy the brain, they take the pituitary gland and all the neurological parts
of the organism of the person, and they begin to produce a quantity of hormones
that bring the instincts lower. They transform a child of God into a slave of the
flesh, of his own instincts, of his sexual appetite, that which brings the person
to be that which, as they say, “they enjoy life”.
When a couple is virgin, it gives glory to God. A sacred pact happens with Him,
who sanctifies this sexuality. In fact the sexuality is not sin! God has given it
as a blessing, because sexuality is God and the couple. Where there is the sacrament
of matrimony, (also if the spouses did not arrive there virgins), God is present
in this sacramental bed! Because in the wedding bed, blessed by the sacrament of
matrimony, there is the Holy Spirit; even in the meals of this couple there is the
presence of the Lord God, who blesses the food. God remains enraptured before matrimony;
He is happy to accompany the spouses in their new life, in this beginning of a new
life together. The couple and the Lord form a Trinity. Unfortunately many spouses
do not know this, they do not have this notion… And they do not even think about
God: they marry only because of tradition, and not for faith… They think only to
go out of the church to go to have a party, to eat, to drink, to take off on the
honeymoon… Keep in mind that in this there is no evil: the evil lies in leaving
the Lord outside of all of this. As I did, who left the Lord on the street; it did
not even enter my head to invite Him in my new life, in our new house. He, in fact,
has pleasure that we invite Him to enter and to be with us forever, in the joys
and in the moments less good; He desires that we feel His presence… Certainly, in
the sacrament of matrimony the Lord is present also without being invited… But how
much more beautiful it would be if of this presence we might be conscious…
In the matrimony of my parents, the most beautiful thing was that God gave back
to my father the gifts and the Grace that he had lost: this because he married my
mother, who was a woman very pure in sentiments, and virgin. I looked at my father,
his disordered and filthy sexuality. But because he was very “macho”, and his friends
having begun to put into him poison, telling him not to let the wife charm and dominate
him, and that he had to continue his life as before, and so two weeks after matrimony
he ended up in a whorehouse, in order to show his friends that he was continuing
to be the same, that he did not let himself be dominated by the wife…
Do you know how his staff of authority and protection, that God gave him, ended
up? The devil took it away from him! And all those evil spirits, those unclean beings,
returned to take him to themselves. From pastor of his flock, my father transformed
himself into a wolf of his own family and of his home!
When one is unfaithful to his wedding, he is unfaithful to God. He is lacking in
his word, to the oath that he made, to God and to the person that he married, in
the day of his matrimony. He does not do what he promised. If someone has the intention
of not being faithful to his own marriage, it is better not to get married. The
Lord tells us: if you are unfaithful, you will condemn yourself! If you will not
be faithful, do not get married! Son, daughter, ask me the grace to be faithful
to your wife, to your husband, and to God.
How many evils come into a marriage, due to infidelity?! A husband, for example,
goes to a whorehouse, or is unfaithful with the secretary. Notwithstanding the precautions,
he contracts a virus; and even washing himself afterwards, that virus does not die…
So, when later he has relations with the wife, the virus enters the vagina of the
woman and it remains there in the bottom, and arrives to the uterus. In time it
forms an ulcer, of which often the women does not notice. And when, years later,
the wife goes to the doctor suffering very much, it is diagnosed cancer. Yes! Cancer!
And then, who says that adultery does not kill? Moreover, how many abortions are
done due to adultery? For example, how many women, who had been unfaithful and became
pregnant, have recourse to abortion so that the husband might not discover it? They
kill an innocent one that is not able to speak, nor defend himself! And this is
only some examples. Adultery kills in so many and diverse forms! Then, we still
have the courage to protest against God, when things do not go well, when we have
problems, when sicknesses arrive: while it is we who procured these things with
our sins, drawing evil on our life. Behind sin, there is always the evil one! We
open the doors to him, when we sin so gravely! And then still we lament that God
does not love us. Where is God, who permits this or that?! What nerve we have! May
you know that God is the rock that protects marriage. Woe to the one who tries to
destroy a matrimony! When someone tries, he collides with this Rock who is Jesus.
God defends matrimony, do not ever doubt it!
I desire also to inform you to be very careful with regard to those mother-in-laws
who interfere in the marriage of the children, to disturb them, causing problems
in their relationships. Also if the son-in-law or the daughter-in-law, in the right
or in the wrong, that they might not be to her liking, they are already married,
and there is nothing more to do. The only thing is to pray for them: that they might
pray for that marriage, and put it aside! Many women have condemned themselves for
having interfered in the marriage of their children! This is a grave sin! If you
see that something is not going right, that one of them or both are sinning, supplicate
God for them, ask help from God. You can also call the couple and speak to the two,
inviting them to save the marriage, to think about the children, and reminding them
that marriage is for love, to give and to forgive reciprocally. One must fight in
favor of the marriage, this yes: but never interfere in another way, and even less
to take a position in favor of one or the other.
Jesus continued to show me everything… I already recounted to you how I was ungrateful
to my parents, how I was ashamed of them; I spoke bad about them and I disavowed
them because they were poor and could not give me all that my rich friends had.
I was an ungrateful daughter, to the point of saying that that one was not my mother,
because she seemed inferior to me. It was frightening to see a summary of a woman
without God. She destroys all that she draws near to. And beyond all this, and this
is the worst thing, I felt and I believed to be a very good person!
I thought that regarding the 4th commandment I would have passed through well, because
my parents had cost me a lot: I spent a lot of money for them, due to their sicknesses,
(all the analysis, in fact, were done by payment), because both of them had grave
sicknesses before dying. It was my husband who covered the expenses, and would say:
“Look after a little bit these two shameless ones, they do not leave a penny in
heredity and even more it is necessary to spend a fortune for them. The parents
of my friends, instead, leave goods and…”. And the Lord showed me how I analyzed
everything from the point of view of money, because I manipulated even my parents
when I had money and power, I even profited from them.
With money I made myself god, and I trampled on even my parents. Do you know what
grieved me the most? To see them there… My father was crying, seeing that he had
been a good father, that he had taught the daughter to be a worker, a fighter, an
entrepreneur, to be respected, because only those who work go forward… But I forgot
a particular: that I had a soul, and that he was my evangelizer, with his witness.
My life began to sink, with the example that he gave me. He saw now, with profound
sorrow, the responsibility he had before God, since he was a womanizer, and he used
to say happily, boasting to my mother and to everyone, to be very “macho”, because
he had many women and he could conquer all of them. Moreover he used to drink and
smoke. He was also a good person, but had these vices, which according to him were
not such, on the contrary he believed them to be virtues. He was very proud. I,
who was just a baby and saw how my mother would cry when he spoke about the other
women, began to fill myself with anger, with resentments of rage. The resentment
begins with the spiritual death: I felt a frightening anger in seeing how my father
humiliated my mother before people, and how he caused her so many tears… And she
did not say anything. There I began my rebellion.
When I was adolescent, I used to say to my mother: “I will never do like you. You
throw the dignity of women underfoot. For this we women are not worth anything:
the whole fault is due to woman like you, without dignity, without pride, who allow
themselves to be trodden underfoot and to be humiliated by men!” And to my father,
I used to say: “Dad, listen well: I will never permit a man to do to me what you
do to Mom! Never! If one day a man might be unfaithful to me, I will vindicate myself!
I do the same thing, so that he might learn!” My father beat me shouting: “How dare
you, little girl?!” I do not know why my father was so chauvinist. I said to him:
“OK, you can even beat me… But if one day I will marry, and my husband betrays me,
I will vindicate myself, I will repay him with the same coin, so that men might
understand and experience how a woman suffers, when a man tramples her and humiliated
her is such a way!” I filled myself with all this hate and resentment. You know,
I felt so much rage, that this made of my life a rebellion: I began to live with
the desire to defend the woman. I began to support abortion, euthanasia, divorce,
and I counseled all the women who I knew, to vindicate themselves if their husband
betrayed them! I was never unfaithful physically, but I did much harm to so many
people with these counsels.
When I was finally economically well off, I began to say to my mother: “Mom, get
separated from Dad, because it is impossible to put up with such a man! Have a little
dignity, give worth to yourself, Mom!” Even though he was like that, I liked my
father: do you know that I loved him, despite everything? Because my mother was
truly a good woman, who never, never, taught us to hate, neither my father, or anyone
else! … And I, you can imagine a little bit! I wanted to get my parents to get divorced!
But my mother used to say: “No, my daughter, I cannot; I suffer, it is true, but
I sacrifice myself for you, my children. You are seven and I am only one. I sacrifice
myself because yours is a good father: I would be incapable of separating myself
from him and leaving you without a father. And then, if I separated myself, who
would pray so that your father might save himself? It is I that can beseech the
Lord for him, so that he might find salvation: in fact, the pain and the suffering
that he procures for me, I unite them to the pains that Jesus suffered on the Cross.
Everyday I go to church, and before the tabernacle I say: “Lord, this suffering
is nothing; I unite it to that of Your Cross, so that my husband and my children
might save themselves.” I entrust your father to Jesus, together with the Rosary.
The devil pushes him toward the bottom making him sin, but I push him up with the
Rosary, I bring him before the Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacle and I say to
Jesus: “Lord, he is here: I confide that you will not let me die without seeing
him converted. Lord, I do not pray only for my husband, but also for all the women
who are in the same situation, especially for those who, instead of kneeling down
to beseech you for their husband and for their children, put themselves into the
hands of the enchanters and of the fortune-tellers, or else they betray them, consigning
their own soul and the family into the claws of the evil one. Lord, I pray for these
women, for these families.”
You know, eight years before dying, my father converted! He repented, he asked pardon
from God, and the Lord pardoned him. He was in Purgatory, in the lowest part, in
great suffering, so that he made reparation for his sins. To make reparation for
sin is something that we do not take very seriously, we do not think about it. Certainly,
often it is not possible, but precisely for this the Lord grants us the grace to
make reparation for our errors through the Eucharist. Every time we participate
at a Mass, the Lord gives us the grace to make reparation for the evil that we have
committed. God shows us, in the life after, the consequences of our sins, of the
evil that we have done to neighbor. Even a bad look, an ugly word… If we could see
how terrible it is! And how we cry, there, all these errors!
In the case of my father, my mother said to him to counsel my brothers that they
might abandon the life of sin that they were leading. In fact, they were following
the footsteps of the father, in infidelity, in drinking… They were his copy. If
he might have done as the wife said to him, this would have been reparation. But
he always responded to let the kids have fun, that they were only engaged, and that
latter they would have time to change! He gave a bad example to my brothers, and
he did not repair for his sins. He was crying, there in Purgatory, and he said:
“I saved myself thanks to 38 years of prayer of this holy woman, that God gave me
as a spouse!” My mother passed 38 years of her life praying for him!
Those who saw the film of the Passion of Christ, will remember that while they scourged
Jesus, one sees a devil with a little child, (also he a devil), who looks at Jesus
and smiles. Well, may you know that today he is no longer a baby, but a malefic
genius, enormous and perverse, who keeps in slavery many peoples, with the pleasures
of the flesh, with magic, with erroneous theologies, as for example those which
affirm that the devil does not exist. Imagine the astuteness of the devil, who denies
himself! He makes us believe that he does not exist, in order to be able to act
undisturbed! Yes, he guides the instructions of men in order to make them believe
that he does not exist, and so to bring us to destruction. He finds a way to confuse
even those who believe in God; when there are true apparitions, for example, he
makes to believe that they are false. He confuses the people in thousands and a
manner, taking advantage of the weak side of each one. Many Catholics, believers
and practicing, go to Mass and to the magician at the same time. Because the evil
one makes to believe that there is nothing evil here, and that we go to Heaven all
the same, because we certainly do not use magic to do evil to someone! The devil
guides, uses and directs all of this with a very well prepared strategy. You know
therefore that, when we have recourse to magic, it does not matter for whatever,
the beast imprints his seal. When we go to some enchanter, or diviner, or fortune-teller,
or astrologer, or to one who invokes the spirits, in all of these places the devil
places his seal, his stamp.
I found myself in one of these places when I went with a friend, who brought me
to an enchanter to consult her, to predict my future: there I was marked by the
beast. The evil one put on me his seal. The worst thing was that, beginning from
that day, in which by way of that lady I received the stamp of evil, I began to
have disturbances: nocturnal agitation, nightmares, anxieties, fears, and even a
profound desire to suicide! I did not understand the why of these desires! I cried,
I felt unhappy, and never again did I feel in peace. I prayed, but I felt the Lord
far from me: never again did I sense that nearness with Him, that instead I had
when I was little. Of course! I had opened the doors to the beast, and the evil
one had entered with force into my life.
When I was still little, I learned unfortunately that, in order to avoid the punishments
of my mother, rather severe, lies were perfect: so I began to go with “the father
lies”; I formed an alliance with him, and I became such a great liar that, to the
measure in which my sins grew, increased also the size of the lies… I knew, for
example, that my mother had a great respect for the Lord. For her, the name of the
Lord was sacred, it was most holy, so I thought I had the perfect weapon! I used
to say to her: “Mom, for beautiful Christ, I swear that I did not do this!” In this
way I finally succeeded in avoiding the punishments. With my lies, I put the Most
Holy Name of Christ in my rubbish, in my wickedness, in my garbage, filling myself
with so much filth and so many sins… I learned that the wind carried them away,
and when my mother strongly insisted, I said: “Mom, listen! That a lightning bolt
might strike me if what I say is a lie!” These words I used many times… And you
see! A lot of time passed, but truly a lightning bolt ended up striking me! And
if now I am here, it is only because of the Mercy of God.
One day, my girlfriend Estela said to me: “But look a bit, you are already 13 years
old and you still have not lost your virginity?!" I looked at her frightened! How
would this be…? What do you mean by this phrase?!
My mother always spoke to me on the importance of virginity; she said that we are
dealing with the ring of Matrimony with the Lord. But my girlfriend, with an air
of superiority, said to me: “My mother, as soon as I began to menstruate, she took
me to the gynecologist, and now I take the pill!” I did not even know what it might
be, at that time! And so she explained to me what are contraceptive pills to not
have a pregnancy, and she added that she already slept with the cousin, with the
friend, with this one and that one… An enormous list! She affirmed that it was a
very beautiful thing! My friends said to me: “You really do not know anything?”
Since I replied no, they promised to bring me to a place where they all had learned.
I was worried: I knew where they would have led me! I began to peep into a new world
for me; new and completely unknown.
They brought me to a cinema, rather ugly, which was at the center of the city, to
see a pornographic film. Just imagine the fright?! A girl of 13 years, which at
that time did not even have a television at home! You can imagine how it was to
see such a film! I almost died of fright! It seemed to me to be in hell! I would
have wanted to flee at full speed, from there… But I did not, for shame before my
girlfriends… But I wanted so bad to get out of there, I was very frightened!
On the same day I went to Mass with my mother. I was so frightened, that I wanted
to go to confession. She remained before the tabernacle to pray. In the confessional,
I said my usual sins: that I had not done my duties at home, at school, that I was
disobedient… These were more or less my habitual sins. I always went to the same
priest, thus he knew more or less already my faults; but that day, I also said that
I went to the cinema hidden to my mother. The priest, surprised, almost shouted:
“Hidden from who?! Where did you go?!” Dejected, I looked toward my mother and I
saw that she was tranquil, at her place… Fortunately she did not notice anything!
Imagine if she had heard…! I got up from the confession, angered with the priest,
and naturally I did not say what type of a film I had seen! If only to have said
to had gone to the cinema in a hidden way, the priest was so scandalized, imagine
if I would had said what I saw, what would he had done to me…! … He would have beat
It was then the beginning of the astuteness of Satan! In fact, from that time, I
began to make bad confessions. From then on, I selected what I would say in confession:
“This I confess, but not this; this sin I tell the priest, but this other one no!”
… My sacrilegious confessions began! I went to receive the Lord knowing that I did
not confess everything! I received Him unworthily! The Lord showed me how terrible
was the degradation of my soul, as was grave this process of spiritual death… To
the point that, at the end of life, I did not believe anymore in the devil, or in
anything. He showed me how, in infancy, I walked hand and Hand with God, I had a
deep relationship with Him, and the sin did such that I let go, a step at a time,
His hand. Now the Lord said to me that, those who eat and drink His Body and His
Blood, eat and drink their condemnation: I ate and I drank my condemnation! I saw,
in the Book of Life, how the demon was desperate because at 12 years old I still
believed in God, I still went to Eucharistic adoration with my mother… It was terribly
despairing, in seeing this.
When I began my life of sin, the Lord made me feel that I was loosing the peace
in the heart. There began a battle with by conscience, and what did my girlfriends
say to me? They told me: “What?! Go to confession?! You are stupid, you are out
of fashion! And with who, then? With these priests, greater sinners than us?!” None
of them went to confession, I was the only one who still went. I began a war between
that which my girlfriends told me and that which my mother and my conscience told
me… Slowly, slowly, the balance began to tilt, and my girlfriends won. So I decided
to no longer go to confession: I would no longer confess to those old men, who were
scandalized just because I went to the cinema!
See the astuteness of Satan! I distanced myself from confession at 13 years old.
He is an expert, you know? He puts mistaken ideas in our head! At 13 years old,
Gloria Polo was already a living corpse, in spirit. But for me it was important,
it was a motive of pride, to belong to that little group of girlfriends, of refined
and expert girls… When we are 13 years old we think we know everything, and everything
that has to do with God is out of fashion, or idiotic. What the “in thing” is, instead,
is to exploit…
I have not yet told you that, when the Voice of Jesus was heard, and the demons
left from there because they could not stand that Voice, one of them remained. He
had authorization from the Lord to remain. This demon, enormous, shouted with horrible
screams: “She is mine! She is mine! She is mine!” Only he remained, because it was
that one which led, manipulated, and with his strategy guided, my weaknesses so
that I might sin! It was he who pulled me away from confession! For this, the Lord
permitted him to remain next to me, and this is why that horrible demon shouted
that I belonged to him, and he accused me. He had permission to stay, because I
died in mortal sin! From 13 years old when I no longer went to confession, up to
then, many times I made bad confessions. I therefore belonged to that demon, and
he could remain during my judgment! Just imagine my shame, in seeing with horror
my sins so numerous, and even more with that horrible thing to accuse me and to
say that I was his! It was horrible!
The devil drew me away from confession, and so in this way he took from me the cure
and the cleaning of soul; it was not gratuitous the sin that I was committing. On
the spotlessness of my soul, the evil one put his mark, a mark of darkness… And
this white soul began to fill itself with darkness. Never did I receive Holy Communion
well: only for the First Communion did I make a good confession. From then on, never
again: and I received my Lord Jesus Christ unworthily. When we go to confession,
we must always, always, ask the Holy Spirit that he might illumine and send His
holy Light on the darkness of our mind: because one thing the evil one does, is
to obscure our mind, so that we think that nothing is a sin, that all is well, that
there is no need to go to the priest to confess ourselves, - and even more, they
are greater sinners than we are - , that confession is out of fashion. Clearly,
it was more convenient for me not to go to confession.
At 13 years old, my girlfriend Estela became pregnant. When she told me, I asked
her: “But were you not taking the pill?” “Yes – she replied – but it did not work!”
“And now…? What will you do?” She told me that she did not know. She did not know
if it happened in that party, or in that walk, or with the fiancée!
In the month of June she went on holidays with the mother. She was already five
months pregnant. When she returned, she was surprised: she did not have any panic,
and seemed to be a corpse! She was very pale, and of that extroverted girl that
played with everything, nothing was left. By now she was no longer the same.
You know, neither of us liked to go to Mass. But, since our school was run by Religious
Sisters, we had to go with them. There was an old priest, who prolonged the celebration,
and to us these Masses seemed like eternity, they never would end. For the whole
time of the Mass, we played, laughed, without giving the least attention to the
celebration… But one day arrived a new priest, very young and nice looking. Our
comments were that a young man so attractive was wasted by becoming a priest… We
agreed to see which one of us would have succeeded in conquering him! Think about
it a little bit!
The Sisters were the first to go to Communion, and immediately after we came up,
all of us without going to confession! We went as agreed, to see who would have
conquered the priest! We had to unbutton our blouse in front of him, at the moment
in which he would give us the Communion, and that the one which might have succeeded
in making him tremble his hand, would be the one who had the better breasts. That
was the sign to understand that she had attracted the attention of the priest.
… The diabolical things that the evil one made us do! ... And we to believe that
it was pranks! To what point we were…!
And so, when my girlfriend Estela returned from vacation, she was no longer the
joking one, always playful and cheerful. Now her face was off, sad, very sad. She
did not want to tell me anything; but one day when I was at her house, she said
to me, lowering the skirt: “When my mother found out that I was pregnant, she got
so mad, so much, that she took me immediately by the hand, she put me in the car,
and she took me to the gynecologist. Having arrived there, she said to the doctor:
… She is pregnant! Do me this favor, ask whatever price you want, but I need that
you operate on her immediately and resolve for me this problem!” My girlfriend opened
the closet of her room, and I saw a glass bottle, with a red cap, full of liquid…
There inside was a baby completely formed! I will never forget it! Above the bottle
cap, the box of contraceptive pills! Just imagine…
See how sin blinds a sick person, and a spiritually infirm mother, to the point
of bringing the daughter to abort, and even to put the fetus in a bottle so that
never again one forgets to take the pill… And to leave it in the closet, so that,
as soon as she opens the door, she might immediately see that macabre container,
and over the cap, the box with the pills! Simply macabre and absurd! It is this
what the demon does, when we open the doors with sin, and we do not wash ourselves
in confession! When I asked my girlfriend if she suffered from all this, and if
she was sad, she replied ironically: “And why should I be sad? On the contrary,
it is better now that they have freed me from this problem!”
But it was a lie, because she never returned the same! A little while after, she
entered into depression! A terrible depression! … Then she began to use LSD, and
naturally, I being her best friend, she offered some to me, but I became frightened.
On one hand, I would have liked to try it, because she told me that the drug makes
you feel very good, that you seem to fly, to be on the clouds, and so many other
wonderful things that enticed me to try… But I could not! I remained frightened
and I told her no, because certainly the odor of the drug would have remained on
me; so my mother, who had a good sense of smell, would have discovered this… and
would have killed me!
I did not try it! The Lord showed me, now, that it was not for fear of my mother
that I did not try it, but for the Grace of God, because I had a mother who prayed,
and her prayer with the Rosary sustained me, and inhibited me from descending so
But my girlfriends were not happy, they began to talk with me, they screamed, and
were disgusted for my refusal… But I could not, I could not! This was one of the
many graces that I received merited by a mother full of God, who prayed for me,
who lived united to the Lord.
13 years went by, 14, 15, and I arrived to 16. Unfortunately, at this age I came
to know my first fiancée and I went with him! The pressure from my girlfriends began.
I was considered the black sheep, for the fact of being still virgin. Now that I
had a fiancée, there began the psychological pressure! I had promised them that,
when I would have a boyfriend, and then yes, I would have had relations; but before,
no! … Now, I no longer had excuses! I said to my girlfriend Estela: “But… And if
I get pregnant like you?” She replied that no, do not go and talk about this, because
by now there were other methods, like for example condoms. In her time there existed
only the pill, but now I would not have problems. She told me that she would give
me 5 pills to take all on the same day, and to use the condom… And nothing would
happen to me.
I felt bad at the thought of having to maintain this promise, but I did not want
to make a scene with them.
When it happened… I realized that my mother was right, when she said that a girl
who looses her virginity burns out. I felt exactly this, that something died in
me… As if I had lost something, that I could no longer recuperate. This was the
sensation that remained with me, together with an enormous sadness. I do not know
why they say that sex is beautiful! I do not know why the youth say they experience
pleasure! I do not think it is so good! In my country, Colombia, one sees on the
TV so much publicity that speaks of secure sex, with the condom, and it encourages
the use of it. There is so much exploitation of sexuality... I feel so much sadness
in seeing this! If they only knew! If they only knew…
In my case, I assure you that I felt very sad, and I had a tremendous fear to return
home, and that my mother might realize what had happened! Never again would I be
able to look at her in the eyes, with the fear that she might see, in mine, that
which I did! I felt anger and rebellion, about myself and toward my girlfriends,
for having been weak, for having done something that I did not want to do, and that
I did it only to please them…
You must know that, notwithstanding the counsels of my girlfriend, and despite all
the precautions, during my first relationship I became pregnant!
Try to imagine the fright of a girl of 16 years being pregnant! (She cries). I began
to note many changes in my body… Even in the midst of the fear, all the same I began
to feel tenderness for this creature that I carried in my womb!
I spoke with my fiancée - later he became my husband - and I told him about this.
He was surprised. I hoped that he might say that we would be married! I was 16 years
old and he was 17 years old. But he said to me that we could not upset our life,
and that I had to abort! Very worried, sad, very sad, I went to my girlfriend Estela,
and she said to me: “Do not worry! It is nothing! Remember that I have already gone
through it several times! I was a little sad the first time, the second time it
was already easier, and the third time by then you do not feel anything!” “But can
you imagine when I arrive home, and my mother sees me with such a wound? She will
kill me!” “Do not worry, now they do not make wounds so big. The incision that you
saw on me was enormous because also the baby was already very large, but in your
case it is still very small, do not worry! Nothing will happen to you, your mother
will not even notice!”
Oh, brothers, what sadness! What a great pain! How the devil makes us see things!
… As if it were nothing, as if it were something without importance! … As if an
abortion provoked the most natural thing in the world! On the contrary, stupid people
feel bad! That sex is to be consumed, without remorse, without fault! But do you
know why the evil one does this? Why he leads people to this? Because, among other
reasons, he needs human sacrifices! In fact, for every abortion provoked, Satan
acquires ever more power.
No one can imagine the consternation, the fear and the sense of guilt when I arrived
in that hospital, (a good distance from my house), in order to abort! The doctor
gave me an anesthetic. But when I woke up, I was no longer the same! They killed
that creature, and I died with her! (She cries).
You know, the Lord showed me in the Book of Life that which we do not see with the
eyes of the body, and what happened when the doctor did the abortion. I saw the
doctor who, with a type of pincers, grabs the baby and breaks him into pieces. This
baby shouts, with so, so much force! Even though there has not passed even a minute
from the moment of fecundation, it is already an adult soul. We can use the pill
of the day after, or whatever kind of means, but we are always dealing with killing
a baby with an adult soul, completely formed: because it does not grow like a body,
but is created by God in the same instant in which the ovum and the sperm meet,
in that precise moment! I saw in fact, in the Book of Life, how our soul, as soon
as the two cells touched, form a spark of beautiful light, and this light seemed
to be a sun that comes from the Sun of God the Father. In an instant, the soul created
by God is adult, mature, in the image and likeness of Him! That baby is immense
in the Holy Spirit, who comes out of the Heart of God!
The womb of a mother, immediately after the fecundation, illuminates suddenly from
the splendor of this soul, and of it’s communion with God. When you tear out this
baby, this life… I saw how the Lord jumps, when this soul is ripped from His hands.
When they kill him, the baby cries out so much; all of Heaven trembles! In my case,
when I killed my baby, I heard him cry out a lot, but so strong! I saw Jesus on
the Cross who cried out and suffered for this soul, and for all the souls that are
aborted! The Lord cries from the Cross, with so much pain, to much sorrow…!!! If
you might have seen, no one would have the courage… to provoke an abortion (She
Now I ask you, how many abortions are done in the world? How many in one day? In
one month? … Do you understand the dimensions of our sin? The pain, the suffering
that we procure for our God? … And how much He is merciful, how much he loves us,
notwithstanding the monstrosity of our sins? Do you understand the suffering that
we procure to ourselves, and how evil takes possession of our life?
Every time that the blood of a baby is scattered, it is a holocaust to Satan, who
acquires in this way still more power. And this soul cries out. I repeat, we are
dealing with a mature adult soul, even though it does not yet have eyes, nor flesh,
nor a formed body… It is already completely adult. And this his cry so great, while
they kill him, devastates all of Heaven. On the contrary, it is a cry of jubilation
and of triumph in hell. The only comparison that comes to my mind is the finals
of a world soccer championship: imagine all that euphoria, but in an enormous stadium,
so immense so as to loose sight of the boundaries, full of devils who cry out like
crazy beings their triumph.
They, the devils, threw on me the blood of those babies that I aborted or that I
contributed in killing, and my soul became black, completely black.
After the abortions, I thought by now that I no longer had sins… The saddest thing
was, instead, to see that Jesus showed me how, also in my family planning, I was
killing… Do you know why? I was using the IUD (intrauterine device) as a contraceptive.
From 16 years old, up to the day that the lightning bolt struck me! I took it out
only when I wanted to get pregnant, (once married), to then put it immediately back
I want to say to all the women who use these intrauterine devices: yes, they provoke
abortions! I know that it happens to many women, - because it happened also to me
- , to see often clots of blood rather large during the menstrual period, and to
feel pain much stronger than normal. We go to the doctor, who does not give much
importance to the fact: he prescribes a painkiller, an injection if the pains are
too strong, telling us to not worry, that it is normal, because we are dealing with
a foreign body, but there is no problem. Do you know what it is, instead? It is
a micro abortion!!! Yes! Micro-abortion! The intrauterine devices provoke micro-abortions,
because as soon as the ovum and the sperm unite, as I already told you, right from
that moment is formed a soul, that does not need to grow, being already adult: these
devices do not let the fertilized ovum to implant itself into the uterus, which
thus dies. That soul is expulsed! For this we are dealing with a micro-abortion.
A micro-abortion is an adult soul, completely formed, which was not permitted to
live. It was very painful to see how many babies were fertilized, but then expulsed.
These little suns, originating from the Sun of God the Father, these divine sparks,
could not grab on to the uterus due to the IUD. How they cried out, while they were
torn out from the hands of God the Father because they could not implant themselves!!!
It was a dreadful scene…! And the worst is that I could not say that I did not know!
When I would go to Mass, I would not pay attention to what the priest said. I did
not even listen, and if they might had asked me which verses of the Gospel had been
read, I would not have known what to respond. You must know in fact that the devils
are present even at the Mass, in order to distract us, to make us fall asleep, to
impede us to listen. Well, in one of these Masses during which I was totally distracted,
my Guardian Angel gave me a jolt and she uncorked my ears, so that I might listen
to what the priest was saying in that moment: I heard him precisely speaking about
intrauterine devices! He said that they provoked abortion, and that all the women
who used them to control the births, actually were aborting; that the Church defends
life, and that anyone who does not defend life cannot receive Communion! Hence,
all the women who are using this method, cannot take Communion!
How I heard those words, I became infuriated with the priest! But what kind of things
do these priests have in their heads? With what right?! For this the Church does
not go forward! It is for this and for that, that the churches are empty! Of course,
because it is not with science! But who do they think they are, these priests? Do
they think that they will give food to eat to all of these children that we might
have?... I left the church infuriated!
The bad thing was that, while I was being judged before God, I could not say that
I did not know! In fact, notwithstanding the words of the priest, I did not give
heed, and I continued to use the IUD!
How many babies I had killed? … Here is the motive for which I was living so depressed!
Because my womb, instead of being a font of life, it was transformed into a cemetery,
in a “slaughterhouse” of babies! Think about it: a mother, who God conceded the
immense gift of giving life, to take care of her own baby, to protect it from everything
and everyone, precisely that mother, with all these gifts, kills her little child…!
The devil, with his malefic strategy, has brought humanity to the point of killing
their own children. Now I understand the reason why I lived in continual bitterness,
depression, always ill tempered, ill-mannered, with ugly ways of doing things, with
a bad face, frustrated with everything and with everyone. Of course! I had transformed
myself, without knowing it, into a machine to kill babies, and for this reason I
was sinking ever more into the abyss. Abortion is the worst of all the sins (those
provoked, not when it is spontaneous), because to kill the children still in the
womb of the mother, to kill a little innocent and defenseless creature, is to give
power to Satan. The devil commands from the depths of the abyss, because we are
scattering innocent blood! A baby is like an innocent lamb and without stain… And
Who is the Lamb without stain? It is Jesus! In that moment, the baby is the image
and likeness of Jesus! The fact that it might be the mother herself to kill her
own child, determines a profound bond with the darkness, permitting that more devils
from hell might come out to destroy and strangle humanity. It is as if one might
open the seals… Seals that God has put to impede evil to come out, but that, for
every abortion, it opens… And so horrible larvae come out, so that there are more
and more devils… They come out to chase and persecute humanity, and then make us
slaves of the flesh, of sin, of all the bad things that we see, and we will see
always more. It is as if we might give the key of hell to the devils, to let them
escape. And so escape more devils, of prostitution, of sexual aberrations, of Satanism,
of atheism, of suicide, of indifference… Of all the evils that we see around us.
And the world is getting worse every day… Think how many babies are killed every
day: it is all a triumph of the evil one! That you might know that for the price
of this innocent blood, the number of devils outside of hell grows; they circulate
freely in our midst! Let us take shelter! … We sin without even realizing it! And
our life transforms itself into an inferno, with problems of every type, with sicknesses,
with so many evils that afflict us; all of this is the pure and simple action of
the devil in our life. But it is we, we alone, that open the gates of evil, with
our sin, and we permit him to freely circulate in our life. It is not only with
abortion that we sin! … But it is among the worst sins. And then we have the nerve
to blame God for so much misery, so much disgrace, so much sicknesses and so much
… But God, in His infinite Goodness, still gives us the sacrament of Reconciliation,
and we have the opportunity to repent and to wash our sin in confession, breaking
in this way the strings that tie us to Satan, and his influence in our life. In
this way we can wash our soul. … But in my case, I did not do it!
How many times we kill, also spiritually?! How many of us worry about that our own
children have cloths to wear, to adequately eat, that they can study…? And if they
get sick, we run immediately to the doctor… But how many of us, often, kill our
children? So many are sad, or full of anger, bitter, because they do not have near
them the father or the mother, they do not have the love of the parents. Just imagine
a women who presents herself in church, for example, and says: “I thank you, my
God, for these children so good that you gave me; they are so good, but so good,
that from the time that the father left me, they hate him, and they love only me!”
Do you know what this mother did? She killed her children spiritually. Because to
hate is to kill! How many times we poison our children?! You do not imagine how
it makes God sorrowful our upsetting, poisoning the children against the father
or the mother! God does not permit it!
Jesus showed me that I was a frightful assassin, because not only did I sin when
I aborted, but I also financed many abortions. Here is the power that money gave
me! I made myself an accomplice. I used to say, in fact: the woman has the right
to remain pregnant or not! … I looked at the Book of my life… And how it pained
me to see that which I did years later, when I was by then adult! When we have poison
inside of us, we cannot give to others anything good, and all those who come to
us become ruined. Some girls, three of my cousins and the fiancée of my cousin,
came often to my house. Being the one who had money, I invited them, and I spoke
to them about fashion, about “glamour”, to how to exhibit their body to be attractive,
and I ladled out counsels. See how I prostituted them! I prostituted the little
ones! This was another horrible sin, after abortion. I prostituted them, because
I gave them these counsels: “Do not be foolish, girls, do not give heed to your
mothers, who speak to you about chastity and about virginity: it is old fashioned
stuff. They speak about the Bible, which is 2000 years old… And then, these priests,
who do not want to update themselves, they speak to you about what the Pope says,
but the Pope is also out of fashion”. Consider the poison that I transmitted to
these girls. I told them that they could arrange their own body, only they must
pay attention not to get pregnant… And I taught with which method.
The fiancée of my cousin, who was 14 years old, arrived one day to my outpatient
clinic, crying a lot. He said to me: “Gloria, I am a young girl, I am a young girl,
and I am pregnant!” I almost shouted at her: you stupid thing, did I not teach you
how to do these things?!” And she replied: “Yes, yes, but it did not work!”
Do you know what God wanted from me, in that moment? That I might have supported
that girl so that she might not have fallen into the abyss, that she might not have
aborted. Abortion is a current that draws one in, that causes suffering, because
you will always feel emptiness, pain, to be the assassin of your child. The worst,
for this girl, was that, instead of speaking to her about Jesus and helping her,
comforting her and supporting her, I gave to her the money to abort! Certainly,
in a secure place, to not be harmed physically… But it remained spiritually, and
for the whole life.
Like this, I financed so many other abortions. But I still had the courage to say
that I did not kill, that I was good, that I was Catholic, that it was not right,
that I could not remain in that horrible place…!
Moreover, the people who I did not like, I hated and detested them, and I spoke
badly about them. I was a false person, hypocrite, and also an assassin: because
it is not only with weapons that one kills a person. To hate, calumniate, to envy,
do deride, to do evil, also this is killing.
As I already said, abortion is the gravest sin before the eyes of God. So many people
ask me how to atone for abortion. In fact, we cannot restore the life to the baby;
but in the Catholic Church we have a blessing so great! The sacrament of Reconciliation.
In confession, God forgives us, and that which the priest looses on earth, is loosed
also in Heaven. Glory to God, for this! Blessed be the Lord for His Goodness! …
The Lord forgives us, but remember that which Jesus said to the adulterous woman:
that she go in peace, but that she not return to sin! “Go in peace and sin no more”.
Another act of reparation is “Baptism of intention”. To baptize babies, as the priest
did today, in this celebration, so that they can come out of Limbo . See the wisdom
of the Catholic Church! These babies enter into the Glory of God! Now they are little
Angels, who pray and intercede for our salvation. See the beauty of the “economy”
of God! See how God transforms all for our good! Nothing is lost! And when one evangelizes
on abortion, and a baby is saved, also this is atonement! When a woman aborts, beyond
asking pardon of God in confession, and to not abort ever again, she can also contribute
to avoid other abortions, of other women: doing this, she atones for her sin, enormously!
This is reparation!
My Lack of Love of God My relationship with God was very sad. For me, God was the
One who I sought out only if I had a problem. Many times, when that happened, I
ran to Him to ask help. Almost always it was an economic problem! It was a totally
economic relationship, that between me and God! It was a type of “Bank Cash Dispenser”!
I put in prayer and supplication, so that God might send me money! I wanted that
God might love me and give me everything, but really everything, but on my terms!
And that no one might come to tell me that doing like that I was sinning, because
I did not appreciate him! The devil put to sleep my conscience! Often, when I found
myself in economic difficulty, I would pass before an image of Baby Jesus, while
I was going out of church, and I would touch his little hand saying to Him: “Listen
to me! Give me money, that I have need of!”
Like some do with Buddha: they scratch the stomach, telling him to give them money!
That is how I did with Baby Jesus! Imagine my nerve! What great lack of respect!
And the Lord showed me how much my disaffection and my lack of respect pained Him!
How much sorrow and shame I felt, now! Money did arrive, yes, but disappeared immediately!
It was as if, the more depressed I arrived, the more depressed I remained without
anything! In the end I found myself in an economic situation always worse.
Things being like this, a lady recounted to me to have gone through a similar situation,
but she went to a protestant pastor that someone had recommended, and everything
got better! As soon as I heard this, I asked her immediately where he might be,
because I wanted to go there immediately! … Look at my infidelity!
I thus went to that pastor, and he prayed for me laying his hands on me, and he
made me communicate in their manner. Think about it, I would receive the Body and
the Blood of the Lord, in my Catholic religion. I go there, and they make me do
the communion as if it were the first time!
Their celebrations were very animated: they would jump, applaud… I said to myself:
what a bore those Catholic priests so dull and disgusting, those Masses so annoying…
There is no comparison with these, that they make us feel so good, so joyous!
There they do not believe in images, and they say that that of the images is idolatry.
Thus, I no longer knelt down before a Crucifix, because it was idolatry. When I
began to go to these evangelic churches, I had a neighbor, an old lady very poor,
who lived in front of my house; I helped her by giving the money needed to pay for
the light bill, water bill, and at times I did some shopping for her, so that she
could eat. As you can imagine, this old lady was very attached to me!
But when we do not have God inside of us, even the good works become rotten, like
As I said, when I began to go to them, I liked the evangelical churches a lot; in
fact, more than being joyous their celebrations, they said to bind the ruining spirits,
and similar things.
Now, that old lady was Catholic, but I used the friendship that she felt for me,
and I succeeded in convincing her, beginning in this way to destroy her faith. In
a few words: due to my counsels and ideas that I put in her head, she died without
receiving the sacraments. She did not want to receive them, because she no longer
felt they were important. See how we influence those who are near us! When inside
of us there is evil, we end up leading others, those who draw near to us, into our
same errors. It is enough to see what I did to that old lady!
But when that protestant pastor asked me for the tenth, I became infuriated; in
fact, in that period I was already bankrupt and they, to complete my ruin, even
asked me for 10% of my earnings! … It was like this that the “crush” for Protestantism
passed for me completely!
On this commandment I thought, still full of pride: here they will not catch me
in fault, because I never had a lover, I was always faithful!
As a matter of fact, after matrimony, I never even gave a kiss to others, only to
my husband. But the Lord showed me that I exhibited too much of my body, when I
went around with my breasts exposed, with the skintight stockings, with the cloths
that I used… I thought that men looked at me, simply to admire me… But the Lord
showed me how they sinned with me: because we are not dealing with admiration, as
I believed, but with provocation, and they were provoked due to me. I committed
adultery, for having exhibited my body. I did not understand the male sensibility.
I believed that they thought like me, that looking at me they would say: “What a
nice body!” Instead they sinned due to my fault. Never was I unfaithful for having
thrown myself into the arms of a man, but it was as if I was a prostitute in spirit.
More than everything, I thought to vindicate myself, if my husband might had been
unfaithful to me, and I counseled other women to do so, when they discovered that
the husband had betrayed them. “Do not be a fool! Vindicate yourself, do not forgive.
Show your worth! It is for this that we women are so put down by men, so trampled
on!” You know, with these counsels, I and my girlfriends succeeded in separating
one of our girlfriends. She had surprised the husband in the office while he was
kissing the secretary. We, with our counsels, did not let her reconcile, even though
he asked her for pardon, truly repentant. She even wanted to forgive, because she
loved him: but we did not permit forgiveness to him. In the end they got divorced,
and two years later she got married civilly, with an argentine. Do you understand?
When I counseled in this way, I was inside an adulterer. Jesus showed me, and I
saw well, how sins of the flesh are abominable, because the person condemns himself,
even if the world affirms that all is well.
In all my life I had only one man, my husband; but the sins are also in the thoughts,
in the words, in the actions: it was very sad to see how the sin and the adultery
of my father did so much harm to us. In my case, it transformed me into a resentful
person; I sunk into rancor against men, while my brothers became faithful copies
of my father. Do they think to be happy in feeling themselves very masculine? They
are womanizers, they drink, and they do not realize the evil that they do to their
own children. For this my father was crying with great suffering, in Purgatory,
seeing the consequences of his sin and of his example that he gave them.
We condemn ourselves, with promiscuity, because it is to live as if we were animals:
mice, dogs… here and there…
The Seventh Commandment: Do Not Steal Also to calumniate is to steal. Just imagine
that I said to had never stolen. I considered myself honest: but I stole from God!
Yes, I stole from God. I was created and I was born in order to help create a better
world, to contribute to extending the Kingdom of Heaven on the earth. But, more
than not having fulfilled this mission, I gave bad advice and I damaged a lot of
people. I did not know how to use the talents that God gave to me. Thus I stole,
clearly I stole! How many people I stole their good name, giving rise to calumnies
and spreading them? You cannot imagine how terrible are the sins of our tongue!
… And in what way one repairs…!
How to repair the honor of someone, after having spread gossip, or calumny?! How
to restore the good name to that person?! Yes this is difficult! This is why in
Purgatory, those who have done evil to someone with words, have much to suffer.
Almost everyone uses the tongue to criticize, to destroy, to offend, to devastate
the good name of people. These tongues, down there, are the cause of great suffering!
They burn!!! How they burn! You cannot imagine! The Lord showed me how we deceive
ourselves, in the judgments that we make about others. While we, for example, look
with contempt at a prostitute, the Lord looks at her with infinite Love, with infinite
Mercy. He sees inside her, he knows her whole life, and knows what led her to prostitution.
Might you know that many of them live this way because of our sins, also because
of our contempt and because of our lack of love for neighbor. Has anyone ever lent
his hand to help a prostitute? Or toward someone caught stealing? We go through
life judging and seeing the defects of others, their errors, and condemning. But
when we see someone do something mistaken, at least let us shut the mouth, let us
bend our knees and pray for that person. At times we are not able to do anything
more: but God can. Let us not judge her, let us not criticize her, otherwise we
sin more than her. We absolutely cannot give rise to false witness, or collaborate
so that it is spread, nor judge, nor lie, because doing like this we rob the peace
from the neighbor. And be careful, because a lie is always a lie, there is not big
ones or small ones, green or yellow, or red color: to lie is always grave, and the
father of the lie is Satan.
In my case, so many lies for what? My life was put in the open, to the Light of
God. And you? … But may you know that on the other side, no one steps up to argue
or to demand… There, there is only your conscience and God!
In my judgment, for example, my parents were there to see my lies, but my mother
did not accuse me. Only, she looked at me with infinite tenderness. My worst lie,
then, was to lie to myself when I said that I did not kill, I did not steal, that
I was a good person, that I never did evil to anyone, and that God does not exist;
and that I would go to Heaven all the same! What a tremendous shame, I experienced
The Lord continued to show me that, while in my house food was wasted, in other
houses of the world there was hunger, and he said to me: “Observe: I was hungry,
and look what you did with what I gave you, you wasted it. I was hungry, and look
what you did, slave of fashion, or of what people said about you, about appearances:
you bought brand-name goods, jewelry, you came to the point to spend 150,000 pesos
for every injection, to be thin, slave of your body… To the point of making of it
a god. Look how many do not have anything to cloth themselves, or to eat, or do
not know how they can pay the bills”.
… Jesus showed me the hunger of my brothers, and how I too was responsible for the
hunger and for the conditions in which my Country and the world found itself in…
Because we are all responsible! He showed me how I had something to do with all
this, because when I spoke badly about someone, this person had lost his work and
the sustenance for his family, and I robbed from him the honor and good name. And
afterwards, how would I be able to restore it to him?! He showed me that it was
easier to give back stolen money, because one could give it, and thus repair the
sin. But when you rob the good name of a person, after the calumny is already propagated,
who can render the honor to this person? One does so much evil to him, in work,
or in the relationships with the other people! Marriages are destroyed! So much
evil! So much evil!
And still, I stole from my children the grace to have a mother at home, a tender
mother, sweet, that might have loved them and accompanied them! Instead…! The mother
away, the children alone, with the “Mom” television and “Dad” computer, and the
video games… And I believed to be the perfect Mom. I left home at 5:00 o’clock in
the morning and did not come back before 11:00 pm.
In order to satisfy my conscience, then, I would buy for them brand-name signed
things and everything that they wanted.
I was terrified when I saw my mother asking herself where she went wrong… What was
she supposed to do or not do, regarding my education! She was a holy woman, who
gave us and planted in us the principles according to the Lord; and my father was
a good man, with us. So I said to myself: what will become of me, who does not do
any of this for my children? Chilled, I asked myself: what will be, when God will
judge me in regards to my children? What fright! What an immense sorrow! I robbed
the peace from my children: now I see it in the Book of Life. I experienced a great
shame! … In the Book of Life we see everything, all of our life like a film. What
a pain it was to see my children who were saying: “Let us hope that Mom arrives
late! Let us hope that there might be a lot of traffic and she arrives later! Because
she is so boring, unpleasant, and when she arrives she always grumbles and shouts
the whole day!” What sadness, brothers! A baby of three years, and the other a little
bit bigger, to say these things! To hope that the mother might not arrive! I stole
from these babies a mother, I robbed from them the peace that I should have given
at home, I did not do in such a way that they might know God by way of me, and love
the neighbor. But, on the other hand, I could not give what I did not have: I did
not love the neighbor! And if I do not love the neighbor, I do not even love the
Lord. Because God is Love…
Also to lie is to steal. In this I was an expert, you know? Because Satan became
my father. In fact, you can have for father God, or Satan. If God is Love, and I
was hate, who was my father? If God speaks to me of pardon and of love for those
who do evil to me, while I said that “those who do that to me must pay”, I was vindictive,
a liar, and if Satan is the father of lies, then who was my father? Lies are lies,
and Satan is the father of this. The sins of the tongue are terrible! I saw all
the evil that I had done with my tongue, when I criticized, when I derided, when
I gave nicknames to someone. How she felt, that person! How the nickname with which
I derided hurt the person, creating for her tremendous inferiority complexes, capable
of destroying her! For example, I called fat a person who was fat, making her suffer,
and because of this word, she ended up destroying herself.
I recount this to you better. At 13 years old, I was part of that little group of
girlfriends, to which it was an honor to belong to… a little group of refined and
expert girls. The Lord showed me how this company of “very good girls”, spiritually
killed a school companion. There was in class a fat girl, obese. My girlfriends
began to torment her, to make fun of her, calling her with offensive names, like
fat seal, elephant, and others. We made fun of her. I did the same, in order not
to seem out of step with them. Now, in the Book of Life, I saw how this poor creature
always had more complexes because of her obesity. She looked at herself in the mirror,
and every time she saw herself as more ugly. So she began to hate us, and to hate
herself; and the more she looked at herself, the more she hated herself. And hate
is death, it is death for the soul. In the jaws of this desperation, the girl one
day drank a bottle of iodine, to see if she might loose weight! But do you know
what happened? Do you know how she ended up, due to the iodine? Almost blind! She
had a strong intoxication, and remained almost blind! For this she did not return
to school! We did not care to know about it! We did not see her anymore, and we
were not interested in knowing why!
For this I tell you, brothers, that collective sins are very grave, the gravest.
Because they are our sins, personal! The sin of that girl, was our sin. The sin
of the community is also your sin, because you did nothing to avoid it! And this
is true not only for individual sin, but also for those of humanity, for which you
did nothing so that it could be avoided.
The power of the word…! We destroyed that girl, putting on her nicknames; the devil
entered and ruined her, and now she can, in her turn, destroy others, with her hate,
in this way the currents of evil go forth forming themselves. Where there is hate,
there is the evil one. This is how we assassinated a school companion. We killed
Twenty years later… I had a very nice looking cousin; I taught her, I counseled
her how to dress, how to give value to her body, to use makeup, etc. One day she
gravely burned herself, more than 70% of her body. Only the face was not burned.
But it was very grave, she could have died.
I became infuriated, I became enraged with God; I went into the chapel of the hospital
and said: “God, if you exist, prove it to me! Show me that you exist, save her!”
Just imagine my pride! Well, my cousin survived. But she remained completely burned,
with grave scares. Her hands remained deformed… A sadness. In that period I was
already well off economically, and I took walks with her, at times in the swimming
pool. But when I put her in the water, all the people left and protested and said:
How gross! But why do you leave home with this creature? She comes to ruin our vacation!”
They said this, the people who saw her! People are bad, perverse, egoists, when
they speak like this, seeing the disgrace of others. Consequently, my cousin began
to not want to leave home. She came to the point of having fear of people! And in
the end hated them! (She cries). The Lord shows, to each of us, when we have made
ridiculous a brother, without a drop of compassion. What right do you have to cause
someone to suffer, to give nicknames, and to call with offensive names, without
knowing what the person is going through? What right do you have to be so cruel?
God will show you how many people you assassinated with the word only! You will
see the terrible power that the word has, to kill souls.
And yet, if I would go before the Most Blessed Sacrament, to ask for the grace of
atonement for my sins, God would heal the soul of my cousin. Because ours is a God
in love, and to the measure in which we close the doors of evil, he opens to us
the doors of blessing. When the Lord gave me the examine of the Ten Commandments,
he showed me that I said that I loved and adored God, by words, but in reality I
adored Satan. I criticize everything and everyone; and everyone pointed with the
finger, “holy Gloria”!... He showed me when I said that I loved God and neighbor,
but I was false and envious… He showed me how I was never grateful to my parents,
nor did I ever thank them for their commitment in giving me a profession and to
be able to succeed in life, all the efforts and the sacrifices that they did… All
this I did not see. As soon as I began my profession, they even became inferior
in my eyes… So much so as to be ashamed of my mother, for her humility and poverty.
Look how this is base-minded.
God gave me an analysis of my whole life, in the light of the Ten Commandments:
he showed me how I was in regards to the neighbor, and in regards to Him.
Never, never, did I have love, nor compassion, for the neighbor, for my brothers
outside. I never thought, in the most absolute way, about the sick, about their
solitude, about children without a mother, about the orphans… With so many babies
who suffer, so much suffering, I could have said: Lord, let me accompany them in
their pains… And instead no. Nothing! My heart of rock, never remembered the sufferings
of others. The worst thing was I never did anything for love of neighbor! … For
example, I paid the expenses at the supermarket for a lot of people, who did not
have the money and were in need, but I did not do it for love: I had money, and
it did not cost me anything.
I did it because I liked
that all might see my gesture, and that they might say I was good, that I was a
saint. And how I know how to profit from the needs of people! I did not give anything
gratuitously! In fact I would say: “I do this for you, but you in exchange do me
the favor to go, in my place, to the school of my children, to the meetings, because
I do not have time… Deliver for me the envelopes of the car bills… Do this for me,
do that for me…” In this way, I manipulated everyone: I did charitable works in
order to have in exchange favors, and never because the person was in need.
Moreover, I adored having behind me lots of people, who would say I was good and
generous, even a saint: because there were those who even said this, and they were
people who knew me well! In the examine that Jesus gave me on the Ten Commandments,
I saw how from greed came forth all my evils. I was blinded by this desire to have
money, a lot of money, because I thought I would be happy the more I had money.
It is too bad that, precisely the period in which I had a lot of money, was the
worst for my soul, to the point that I wanted to commit suicide. In spite of my
richness, I felt alone, empty, bitter, frustrated. This avidity, this desire for
money, was the way that led me, by the hand of the evil one, to distance myself
and to detach myself from the hand of the Lord. He said to me: “You had a god, and
this god was money, and due to it you condemned yourself. Due to it, you sank into
the abyss, and you went away from your Lord”.
When he said to me “god money”… We had arrived, yes, to having a lot of money, but
more recently we were in the red, full of debts, and we no longer had a penny. And
so I cried out: “But what money?! That which I left on earth, are nothing more than
In my examine on the Ten Commandments, I did not pass one of them! Terrible!!! What
fright!!! I was living in an authentic chaos! ... But how? ... Me?! I, who had never
killed?! Who never did harm to anyone?! This is what I thought... And instead yes,
I had killed so many people!
After the examine of the Ten Commandments, the Lord showed me the “Book of Life”.
I would like to be able to have the words in order to describe it. What a marvel!
We see our whole life, our actions and their consequences, good or bad that they
might be, to ourselves or to others. Our sentiments and thoughts, and those of others.
Everything like a film. It begins from the moment of fecundation: we see our life
to begin from that moment, and from there we are taken by the hand by God, who shows
us our entire existence. In the same instant of our fecundation, there is like a
spark of Divine Light, a beautiful explosion, and a soul is formed, white… But not
like the white that we know! I say this color because it is the one most similar,
but it is so stupendous that it is impossible to describe it in words the beauty,
the splendor… The soul is so beautiful, full of light, enchanting, radiant and full
of Love of God… A startling Love of God. I do not know if you ever noticed how newborns,
often, laugh by themselves, and emit those sounds and babblings. Do you know? They
are talking with God! Yes, because they are immersed in the Holy Spirit. Also we
are immersed, but the difference is that they, in their innocence, know how to profit
of God and of His Presence.
You cannot imagine what a wonderful thing it was to see the moment in which God
created me, in the womb of my mother. My soul carried in the Hand of God the Father!
I discover a God the Father so beautiful, wonderful, tender, attentive and affectionate,
who cares for me 24 hours a day; who loved me, protected me, and always came to
seek me when I distanced myself, with infinite patience. I saw only punishment,
while He was only Love, only Love, because He looks not at the flesh but at the
soul, and he saw how I was going farther away from salvation.
You know, my mother had been married for seven years and still did not have children.
In that moment she was very troubled, due to the unfaithful life of my father: she
was very worried and distressed, when she realized she was pregnant. She cried with
great affliction. That had such an effect, that it signed me interiorly, so much
so that in life I never felt loved by my mother! And yet she was always so affectionate,
so good with me; she always gave me love and affection, but I would say and insist
that she did not love me, and I always lived with this complex. For this, only the
Sacraments are the Grace of God that takes care of us. When they baptized me, you
must see the party that there was in Heaven! It is a little creature that receives
on the head a seal, the Seal of the children of God! It is a fire! The fire of belonging
to Jesus Christ.
But I saw in the Book of Life how, already as a baby, I began to fill myself with
the consequences of the sin of my father in matrimony, of the sins that I began
to know, for example his lies, the vice of drinking, unfaithfulness, and the suffering
of my mother. All of this signed me, and caused in me bad sentiments, emotive and
The Lord said to me: “What did you do with the talents that I gave you? … Not those
on the outside, it smelled wonderfully, with costly perfumes, with clothing never
used!” … Talents?! I came into the world with a mission: that of defending the reign
of Love. But I forgot I had a soul, not to mention to have talents, and even more
to be in the Merciful Hands of God. I did not even know that all the good that I
had neglected to do, had caused so much sorrow to Our Lord. I saw the talents truly
wonderful that God had placed in my life. All of us, brothers, are worth very much
to God. He loves all of us, and each one in particular. We all have a mission in
this world. I saw the devil very worried because these talents that God has placed
in us, were at the service of the Lord.
Do you know what the Lord asked me the most to render an account for? For my lack
of love and charity for neighbor, and he said to me: “You spiritual death began
when you let yourself to not be moved by suffering; and yet you too experience it.
You were alive, but dead”. If you could see what spiritual death is! A soul that
hates is frightfully horrible, ugly, embittered, disgusting, it gives annoyance
and hurts everyone. It is painful to see our soul, when it is full of sins… I saw
mine: signed… But inside, a tremendous stink, and sunk in the abyss. This is why
there was so much depression and bitterness. The Lord said to me: “My spiritual
death began when you did not let yourself to be taken up with compassion for your
brothers. It was a notification, when you saw the tribulations of your brothers
everywhere, or when you heard by way of the mass media killings, sequestrations…
But you remained like a rock! Only you would say, with the mouth: oh, poor people.
But you did not grieve, in the heart you did not feel anything, you had the heart
of stone, and it was sin that hardened it”.
Now I recount to you how the Lord showed me the talents.
You must know that I never watched the news on the TV, because it did not go well
with me to see so many deaths, so many unpleasant things… I was interested only
in the last parts: diet, horoscope, mental power, energies, and messages on these
types of things… All the stuff that the devil uses to divert us, to confuse us…
Now the Lord showed me, in the Book of Life, how one day, in His Divine strategy,
he retarded the programs, and I turned on the TV when the news had not yet finished:
I saw a humble peasant woman, who was crying over the body of the husband.
I must tell you, brothers, that the devil habituates us to the sorrows of others,
to see the suffering of others thinking that that problem does not regard us: those
who are in difficulty might take care of themselves, because it is not my problem.
Well, the Lord showed me how it hurts Him when journalists are only preoccupied
that the news might make an impression, without being moved; they think only about
selling the news, without worrying themselves, in that case, of that woman! When
I turned on the TV and I saw that peasant woman crying, I experienced a deep pain
for her suffering; I was really grieved, that poor woman. It was the Lord that permitted
this! I gave attention to what was being said, and I realized that the place where
these events took place was at Venadillo, Tulima: my birthplace…! But immediately
afterwards, began the daily programs, where they spoke about a phenomenal diet,
and I completely forgot about the peasant woman, because I was more interested in
diet. … I never thought about her again!
The one who did not forget the peasant woman, was Our Lord! He made me to feel the
pain and the suffering of that woman, because he wanted that I might help her. That
was the moment to use the talents that He had given me. He said to me: “The pain
that you felt for her, was I, who cried out to you to help her. It was I to retard
the news, so that you might be able to see: but you were not capable to bend the
knee and pray for her, not even for one minute! You let yourself to be clouded by
the diet, and you did not remember her any more!”
The Lord showed the situation of that woman. It was a family of humble peasants.
The first thing was, they had asked the husband to abandon the house in which they
lived. To which, he replied no, that he would not leave there. And so some men came,
to chase him away. That peasant man saw them coming toward him, to send him away,
and he realized that they were armed and had the intention to kill him. I saw the
whole life of that man: I saw and felt the fright and the anguish that he felt;
I saw how he ran to hide his babies and the wife under some things, which seemed
like enormous earth ware. I saw him running away from there, but these men followed
him. Do you know what his last prayer was? “Lord take care of my wife and my small
children: I commend them to you!” And they killed him! He fell dead to the ground.
When they shot, the Lord made me feel the pain of that woman and of his small children,
who could not cry out. (She cries).
In this way the Lord shows us the pain that He feels, and the suffering of the others.
But we, often, we interest ourselves only in our things, and we do not worry even
a little bit about our brothers and their needs! (She continues to cry). Do you
know what the Lord wanted? He wanted me to kneel down and supplicate Him for that
family, for that Mamma and her children! God would have inspired me how I could
have helped them! And do you know how! It was enough to take a few steps and go
to a priest, who lived in front of my house, and tell him what I saw on TV. This
priest was a friend of the pastor of that village, (Venadillo, Tulima), and he had
a guest house at Bogotà; he would had helped that woman.
You know, the first thing that we render account to God, even before the sins, are
the omissions! They are so grave! You do not imagine how much! One day you will
see, as I saw it! These sins make God cry! Yes, God cries, seeing his children suffer
for our indifference and lack of compassion for neighbor; for the fact that so many
suffer, and we do not do anything for them! The Lord will show us, he will show
everyone, the consequences of the sin of our indifference before the suffering of
others. So much pain, in the world, is owed to our indifference, unconcern, and
To summarize a little: that peasant woman, seeing herself persecuted, (in fact,
they sought also to kill her), escaped with her children, and sought out help from
the priest of that village. The pastor, desolate, said to her: “My daughter, you
must flee, because if they find you they will kill you!”
In a great hurry, he did what seemed to him the best for her: very worried, he sent
her to Bogotà; he gave her a little money, and a few letters of recommendation!
She left in a hurry; she presented herself, with these letters, in the various places
that the pastor had indicated to her, by no one took her in! Do you know where she
ended up? Do you know who helped, in the end, that woman? Those who forced her into
The Lord gave me still an opportunity to help her, when years later I saw her again!
It was a day that I had to go to the center of the city. I detested going there,
because it is a place where you see more misery, and since I felt myself superior,
I did not like seeing poverty, indigence, and things like that. But on that day
I really had to go there, and while we were passing there, my son asked me: “Oh!
… Mamma, why in the world does that lady dress in that way, and wears the skirt
so short?” I answered him: “Do not look, my son! These are contemptible women, who
sell their body for pleasure, for money: they are prostitutes, they are unclean.”
Just imagine! To speak like this, and even more poisoning my son! I classified without
pity a sister, fallen in this situation due to the indifference of a people. The
Lord said to me: “The indifferent are the tepid, and I vomit them out! An indifferent
person will not enter into Heaven ever! The indifferent person is one who passes
in the world and nothing is important to him, nothing regards him, if not his house
and his interests! Your spiritual death began when you stopped to interest yourself
in that which happened to your brothers, when you thought only about yourself and
about your wellbeing!”
I was called into existence in order to help to construct a better world, and to
use the talents, that the Lord had given to me, in order to contribute to extend
the Kingdom of Heaven on the earth. But I did not do it! … On the contrary! How
many bad counsels I gave, and how many people I drug down and ruined, with my bad
advice and bad example! I did not use ever the talents that God had given to me,
I never used them! The Lord also asked me: “What spiritual treasures do you bring
Spiritual treasures?! My hands were empty! So he said to me: “What use to you were
two apartments that you had, the houses that you possessed, the outpatient clinics,
which you considered as a professional, with great satisfaction? Perhaps you could
have brought here one brick only? What use was it to you so much worship of your
body, all the money spent for it, all the obsessions to stay in form? To what did
it serve to put it under so much diet that it led you to suffer anorexia, bulimia,
torturing your body? You made of your body, of yourself, a god? And what good did
it do you, now, here? You were very generous, it is true, but you did it so that
they would thank you, to be praised, so that they would say that you were good.
You manipulated everyone, with money, so that in exchange they would do you favors.
Tell me: what have you brought here? When I saw you with the economic ruin, it was
not a punishment as you thought, but a blessing. Yes, that bankruptcy was to strip
you of that god, that god that you served! It was to make you return to Me! But
you rebelled, you refused to come down from your social level, and you cursed, slave
of this your god money! You thought to have obtained all this alone, with your forces,
with the studies, because you were a worker, a fighter… Instead no! Look how many
professionals there are, with the academic studies better than yours; how many in
work commit themselves as and more than you: observe their conditions… To you was
given much, and for this motive much is asked of you; for much you must respond”.
Think about it, for every grain of rice that I wasted, I had to render an account
to God! For all the times that I threw out food in the garbage!
In my Book of Life, I saw when I was small and my family was poor. My mother often
cooked beans; and I hated them, I detested them. I would say: “And again these cursed
beans? One day I will be so rich, that I will never eat them again”. I saw that
one time I threw out the beans that Mamma had served to me, without her noticing
it, and when she sat down to eat she noticed that my plate was empty. She thought
that I had eaten in a hurry because I was very hungry, and she served me another
time, giving to me the portion reserved for her: so she ended up not eating. You
know, the Lord showed me that among the people closest to me, the one who often
suffered hunger at that time, was my mother. Having seven children, many times she
did not eat so that we might eat, because we were very poor. Well, that day she
remained hungry in order to give me, without knowing it, that which I had thrown
in the garbage. But it also happened, often, that she did not eat because someone
knocked on the door to ask for food, and she gave what she was eating. She suffered
hunger, but she never made any kind of a show, she never had an embittered face,
much less sad, nor any other sign. On the contrary, she always had a smile and one
did not notice anything about her. I have already recounted to you what a jewel
of a daughter I was?! I called my father “Peter the rock-breaker” (Fred of the “Flintstones”),
and to my mother I said she was old fashion! That she was an old antiquated lady,
and other similar things. Even to the point of denying that she was my mother, because
I was ashamed. Just imagine!...
And yet, you cannot imagine the graces, the blessings that were scattered over me
and on the whole world, due to my mother! Think of the grace to have a mother that
goes to church and, before the tabernacle, offers her sufferings and her pain to
Jesus, and even more confides! Confides in Him!
The Lord said to me: “Never did anyone love you, and will love you, as your mother!
Never! No one will love you so tenderly as her!” Then the Lord showed me all the
parties she gave me (after my change in social condition)... In those banquets,
in those buffets, half of the food ended up in the garbage, without any thought
The Lord continued: “Look at your brothers, suffering from hunger! I was hungry!”,
he said to me almost shouting. You know how it sorrows the Lord hunger, need, and
the suffering of His children! How it saddens Him our egoism and our lack of charity
And he continued to make me see how in my house there were so many refined and costly
things. As a matter of fact, at that time, I had stuff in my house very costly,
very elegant cloths, very costly. The Lord said to me: “I was naked, and you had
a closet full of expensive cloths, that you did not use…” I saw also that, when
we lived in a high social level, if my girlfriends bought signed cloths, I had to
acquire those even better; if one of them bought a nice car, I had to get a better
one… I wanted always something better compared to them, because I was jealous. The
Lord said to me: “You were always haughty; you made comparisons with those who were
better off than you! Rich people! And you never looked at those who were less economically
well off than you. When you were poor, you walked along the way of sanctity, because
you even gave that which you were lacking”. And he showed me how much it pleased
him my gesture, one time that my mother, notwithstanding our poverty, she succeeded
in buying for me brand-name tennis shoes. I was very happy, but I met a child on
the street that was barefooted, and I felt such a pain for him, that I took off
the shoes and gave them to him.
I returned home without shoes, and my father almost killed me! And not without reason:
with the poverty in which we were in, so much sacrifice in order to buy them, and
I gave them along the way, as soon as they had been bought! But the Lord was content
about this! How he was happy about the way by which I was walking! Notwithstanding
we were a complicated and poor family, God scattered on us many graces and blessings
due to the merits of my mother, of her goodness and of her prayers. The Lord continued
showing me that, if I had not been closed to the Grace and to the Holy Spirit, I
could have helped a lot of people, with the talents that he had given to me. He
showed me all of humanity, and how we respond to God, due to how we have lived,
holding the heart closed to Him and to the Holy Spirit, and to their divine inspirations.
He said to me: “I had inspired you to pray for these people: if you had done this,
the evil would not have entered into them, causing so much damage”. For example:
a little girl was sexually assaulted by her father: if I had not closed myself to
the Holy Spirit, I would had listened to His Divine inspirations, and I would have
prayed for them: so that he evil one would not have entered into that father, protected
by the prayer, and that violence would not have happened, nor would have cause so
much suffering. Or also, that young boy would not have committed suicide. The Lord
continued saying to me: “If you might have prayed, that girl would not have aborted,
that person would not be dead feeling herself abandoned by Me, in a hospital bed.
If you would have prayed, I would have counseled you, so that you might have begun
to help your brothers. I would have guided you! I would have led you to these people.
So much sorrow in the world, and you could have helped!”
He showed me how many people suffer in the world, and how much I could have helped.
Never did I permit that the Holy Spirit touch me, nor ever did I let myself be moved
by the suffering of others. The Lord said to me: “Look at the suffering of my people,
look how I needed to wound your family with cancer, so that you might be moved for
those suffering the same sickness! You were moved for the sequestered, only after
your husband himself was sequestered”. And almost shouting: “But you, of stone!!!
Incapable to feel love!”
To conclude, I will try to explain how we see ourselves in the Book of Life.
I was very hypocritical, false. I was one of those who before the person I make
eulogies, but behind their back I spoke about them badly; that outside they speak
well, but inside you do not hear what they say. For example, I eulogized someone
saying: “You are pretty, what a nice dress, it goes very well with you”. But inside
I was thinking: how gross, you are ugly, and you believe to be the queen! In the
Book of Life you see all of this, with the difference that we see also the thoughts.
All of my lies came to the light, to “living red”, so evident that everyone could
see. How many times I left in a hidden way from my mother, because she did not let
me go anywhere, how many lies I invented: “Mamma, I have group work to do in the
library”. She believed me, and I went to see a pornographic film, or to the bar
to get a beer with my girlfriends. And there is my mother there, now, seeing everything
in the Book of Life… Now nothing was hidden. What shame I felt! What shame! At the
time that my parents were poor, I brought to school, for brunch, a little milk and
a banana. I ate the banana and I threw the pealing wherever I happened to be; it
never came to my mind that someone could hurt themselves due to that banana pealing.
The Lord made me to see, as a matter of fact, the consequences: who fell, who was
hurt… I could have killed someone, with my recklessness and lack of mercy.
I saw, with great pain and shame, how only one time did I make a good confession,
as an adult. It was when a lady gave me 4,500 pesos in change too much, in a supermarket
in Bogotà. My father had taught us to be honest, and never to touch not even a penny
of someone else’s; I realized in the car the error, while I was going to my outpatient
clinic, and I said to myself: “But look at this, that stupid person, that animal
(it was like that I would talk), she gave me 4,500 pesos too much! Now I must go
back! … But looking in the rearview mirror, I saw the congested traffic, and said:
“No! I am not going back, I do not want to be late and loose time! The worse for
her who had been such an idiot!” But I had remorse for that money. Regarding this,
my father had educated us well. Sunday I went to confession, and said: “I accuse
myself of having stolen 4,500 pesos, not having given them back; I kept them for
myself!” I did not pay attention to what the priest said to me, but the evil one
could not accuse me of being a thief!
… But the Lord said to me: “It was a lack of charity to not give back the money,
because for you 4,500 pesos was nothing, but for that woman it was food for three
days”. The saddest thing was to see how that woman suffered hunger for a couple
of days, due to my fault, together with her two babies; like this the Lord showed
me. When I do something, there are consequences of my acts, and those who suffer
because of them: because our acts always have their consequences. That which we
do, but also that which we do not do, brings consequences for us and for the other!
Everyone will see these consequences in the Book of Life. When the moment will arrive
to appear before God for the judgment, you will see it, as I myself saw it. When
my Book of Life was closed, imagine my sadness, my shame, the immense sorrow…
The Book of my life was closed in the most beautiful way. Notwithstanding my behavior,
despite my sins, my trash, my indifference, and my horrible sentiments, the Lord
sought me out even to the last instant: he always sent me instruments, people, he
spoke to me, he shouted at me, he took things from me, he let me fall into disgrace
in order to seek me, and that I might seek Him. He followed after me always, even
to the last instant. Do you know Who is our God and Father? He is a powerful God,
in love, who begs next to each of us, so that we might convert. Instead, when things
went badly, I would say: “God punished me, he condemned me!” Clearly it is not like
that! Never does He condemn us: in fact, of my free arbitrary power, I chose freely
who might be my father, and it was not God. I chose Satan as my father!
When I was struck by the lightning bolt, before taking me to the “Social Seguro”,
they took me to a public hospital, where there were many sick people, so many wounded,
so much suffering, and there was not an available stretcher for me. And when those
who brought me asked the doctors where they might be able to put me, they just said
only: “Down there, down there!” And my rescuers: “But down there, where?” “Down
there, on the floor!” But they did not want to leave me on the ground, because I
was badly burned, and if I had contracted an infection, I would certainly have died...
While I was in a corner, during those hours, the doctors looked at me with a face…
It is that they could not leave someone that had a heart attack, for example, or
was in a very grave condition, but with more possibility of surviving with respect
to me, that I was instead totally burned like a “toast”, and in all probability
I would die.
But I was conscious, and very irritated, murmuring because the doctors did not come
to me. But there was a moment in which I was calm, without complaining, because
I saw Our Lord Jesus Christ, who was bent over and was very near to me, he touched
my head with His hands and he consoled me. Are you able to imagine this?! Can you
imagine the tenderness?! I thought: is it a hallucination? How is it possible to
see Our Lord here?! I closed the eyes, then I reopened them, and I continued to
see him there! He said to me, with great tenderness: “You see, my little one, you
are about to die! Feel the need of My Mercy”. Just imagine…! And so he said: “Mercy!
Mercy!”, but in the mean time I thought: why mercy? What bad have I ever done?
I was not conscious of my errors, but it was clear to me that I was about to die,
this yes! About this I was sad… “Alas, I am about to die!!! … Alas, my diamond rings!!!”
I immediately remembered my rings. I look, and I see the flesh of my fingers totally
burned, as if they had exploded. But I said to myself: “I must take them off, cost
what it may cost! Otherwise they will have to break them, and they will loose their
value”. I did not think about anything else; I saw my fingers puffed up, and I thought
only to take off my rings so that they might not break them! You cannot imagine
what an unpleasant smell burnt flesh has. And the more I moved those rings, the
more it stank. I felt that I would be crazy from the pain, but I insisted and I
said to myself: “No! No and no! I must succeed in this! I must succeed, because
to me, nothing can beat me, and this flesh will not swell, no sir! I am taking off
these rings from here, cost what it may, I will not die with them”. When in the
end I succeed to take them off, I remember suddenly: “Oh, no!!! I am about to die,
and these nurses will steal my rings!” In the meantime arrives my brother-in-law.
I, very happy: “Save my rings!!!” I handed them over to him, who is a doctor, and
it could not be otherwise: because otherwise he would not have touched them, but
he would have thrown them away, and far away! In fact they were burned, and with
fragments of flesh attached. He said he would deliver them to Fernando, my husband,
adding: “Tell my sisters to take my children because, the poor ones, they will be
without Mamma. In fact, I will not make it!” The worst thing was that I did not
profit from those moments that Jesus offered to me, to ask Him Mercy and pardon.
But how could I ask pardon, if I thought I did not have sins?! I believed myself
to be a saint! When we feel we are “saints”, it is then that we condemn ourselves.
When I had taken off the rings and had entrusted them to my brother-in-law, so that
he might hand them over to my husband, I said to myself relieved: “Finally, now
I can die!”, and the last thought was: “Alas, with what money will they bury me,
given that my banking account was in the red?...”
God the Father loves everyone and each one, independently of the fact that we are
good or bad; and with such an intensity that, even to the last moment, he comes
even to us with so much tenderness, he embraces us with all of His Love… He wants
to save us, but if we do not welcome Him, if we do not ask Him pardon and mercy,
recognizing our faults, he leaves us free to follow that which we have chosen. If
ours had been a life without God, most likely in that moment we will refuse Him,
and He will respect us. He does not oblige us to accept Him.
And so one closes my Book of Life.
But when my Book of Life was closed, you cannot imagine how I felt: I was truly
terrorized. I see myself with the head down, and I feel as if falling toward a pit.
Then that thing is opened that seems like a hole, I fall inside, and terrorized
I begin to cry out to all the saints to save me. You would not believe the quantity
of saints that I began to name: St. Ambrose, St. Isidore, St. Augustine, etc. I
did not even know how to recognize so many, as bad a Christian as I was! But when
I finished the list of saints, I remained in silence… I felt an immense emptiness,
a pain and an enormous shame, and I realized that no one could help me! And I said
to myself: “… And all the people, on the earth, to think that I was a saint… To
hope that I might die, in order to ask from me a grace. Where am I going, now?”
I lifted up my eyes, and I met those of my mother. I felt so much sadness, a profound
sorrow, because she would have wanted so much to carry me into the hands of God.
With great confusion and suffering, I cried out to her: “Mamma, what a shame! I
have condemned myself! Where am I going, I will never see you again!”
But in that moment, Jesus grants her a very beautiful grace: my mother was motionless,
and God permits her to move the fingers, pointing them upwards, and inviting me
to look up there: I look, and behold to come out of myself from the eyes of the
crusts, frightfully painful. It was spiritual blindness which went away, and in
that instant I saw there: a wonderful moment.
One day, one of my patients, said to me: “Doctor, I feel very, very much pain, much
sadness, for you. Because you are too much of a materialist. But one day that you
might find yourself in some affliction, or in a dangerous situation, whatever it
might be, ask Jesus Christ that he might cure you with His Blood, and that you might
ask Him for pardon: because never, never, will He abandon you, having paid the price
of his own Blood for you”.
And so, with great shame and immense sorrow, I began to cry out: “Lord! Jesus Christ,
have compassion on me! Forgive me, Lord, forgive me! Give me a second chance!”
It was the most beautiful moment, most wonderful! I do not have words to describe
it. Because Jesus bent down and pulled me out of that pit! He lifted me and brought
me to a level place, and he said to me, with much love: “Yes, you will return, and
you will have your second chance… Not because of the prayer of your family, because
it is normal that they cry and shout out for you, but because of the intercession
of all the people unrelated to your flesh and to your blood, that have cried, prayed,
and lifted up their own heart with so much love for you”. Do you know what I saw?
I saw the great power of the prayer of intercession, brothers! Do you know how to
be able to be always in the presence of the Lord? Pray everyday for your children,
but pray also for the children of the people of the whole world! Pray for the others!
In this way you will be in the presence of God, everyday.
I saw how thousands and thousand of little flames of light went up, so beautiful,
to the presence of the Lord; they were little white flames, stupendous, full of
love. They were the prayers of so many, so many people, that were praying for me,
that had been moved after having seen on TV and in the newspapers what had happened
to me, and that they were crying and offering Masses. The greatest gift that you
can offer to someone is the Holy Mass. Nothing exists more efficacious, that can
help someone, than a Holy Mass. It is also what God appreciates the most: to see
His children intercede for their neighbors, and to help their own brother. The Holy
Mass is not the work of man, but of God.
Among those little lights, though, there was an enormous one, very beautiful: a
light much greater than all the others. You know, brothers, why I am now here? Why
I returned? Because in my land exists a saint. I looked with curiosity, in order
to know who that person might be that loved me so much, and the Lord said to me:
“That man that you see there, is a person that loves you, much, and he does not
even know you”. He showed me that it had to do with a poor peasant man, who lived
in the mountains, in the Sierra Nevada of Saint Martha. This man was very poor;
he did not have anything to eat. All of his harvest was burned, even the chickens
that he had, had been stolen by the men of the “guerrilla warfare”. These last ones,
wanted even to take into their service his older son. This peasant man went all
the way down to the village to go to Mass. The Lord made me pay attention to the
words with which he prayed: “Lord, I love you! Thank you for health, thank you for
my children! Thank you for all that you give me! Be praised! Glory to You!”
His prayer was only praise and rendering thanks to God! The Lord made me see how
in the wallet he had a 5,000 pesos bill, and a 10,000 pesos bill, and this was all
that he possessed! Do you know what he did…? He gave the 10,000 bill at the offertory!
I would put only a 5,000 pesos bill, and that when someone gave me a false bill,
He, instead, did not give the 5,000 bill, but the 10,000 bill, even though this
money was all that he had! And he was not discontented, nor did he grumble due to
his poverty, but he thanked and praised God! What an example, brothers! Afterwards,
he went out of the church, he went to buy a piece of blue soap (washing soap); he
wrapped it in a piece of newspaper (“O Espectador”), of the day before. There was
the news of my accident, and the photograph where I appeared totally burned.
When this man sees the news, as he reads it slowly, being moved he cries so much,
as if I were someone very dear to him, and prostrate with the face to the ground,
he beseeches God with all of his heart, saying: “Father, my Lord, have compassion
on this my little sister, save her, save her Lord! Lord, if You save her, if you
save my little sister, I promise you to go to the “Sanctuary of Buga” to release
the vow, but save her. Please, Lord, save her!” Think about it, that man so poor,
who was not cursing, nor lamenting for suffering hunger with his family, but on
the contrary was praising and thanking God… And with a capacity to love the neighbor
so great that, even having nothing to eat, he was disposed to cross the Country
in order to fulfill a promise, in favor of someone he did not even know!
The Lord said to me: “This is true love of neighbor! It is like this that you must
love the neighbor…” And it was there that he gave me this mission: “You will go
back, to give your testimony, that you will repeat not a 1000 times, but a 1000
x 1000. Woe to the one, listening to you, who will not change, because he will be
judged with greater severity. And this applies also to you, in your second return,
for the religious who are my priests, and for whoever else that does not listen
to you: because there is no greater deaf person than the one who does not want to
hear, nor a worse blind person than the one who does not want to see”.
This, my dear brothers, is not a threat, on the contrary! The Lord does not need
to threaten us. This is a second chance that I have, and it is also for you. This
shows that God is in love with us, and puts before our eyes this mirror which is
I, Gloria Polo. Because God does not want that we condemn ourselves, but rather
that we live with Him, in Paradise. But for this, we must let ourselves be transformed
by Him. When our hour will arrive, to leave this world, also to each one of you
will be opened the “Book of Life”; when you will die, all of you will pass through
this moment, just as I passed through it. There, we will see exactly as now, with
the difference that we will also see our thoughts and our sentiments, our acts and
their consequences, our omissions and consequences of them… All in the presence
of God. But the most beautiful thing is that each one will see the Lord face to
Face, that he asks us to convert ourselves: up to the last moment he asks us this,
so that in truth we begin to be new creatures with Him, because without Him we could
not do it!
When the Lord made me return, my kidneys did not function, nor did they do for me
the dialysis because it was not worth the effort, from the moment that I was about
to die… But suddenly, they began to function; the same for the lungs, and also the
heart began to beat strongly. You can imagine the astonishment of the doctors! By
then I did not need the machines!
I began my physical recovery, but I did not feel anything alive below, and after
a month the doctors said to me: “Gloria, God is doing a miracle with you, because
your skin has grown back over all the wounds… But as for your legs we cannot do
anything. We must amputate them!” When they said this to me, I, who was a sportswoman,
I remembered: 4 hours of daily acrobatics, for what? … I thought only of fleeing
from there, but I did not succeed, because the legs did not hold me up, and I fell.
I was hospitalized on the 5th floor, and they took me to the 7th floor to stay there
until the surgery; I found there a lady who had her legs already amputated, but
they had to amputate them again, higher up. Seeing her, I thought that not even
all the money in the world was sufficient to buy those wonderful things which are
the legs. When they told me that they would amputate them, I felt a great sadness!
Never had I thanked God for my legs, on the contrary: with the tendency that I had
to get fat, I suffered hunger as a fool and I spent fortunes to be elegant… And
now, I see my black legs, burned, without flesh, but for the first time I thank
God to have them yet. “Lord, I thank you for my legs, and I ask you for the grace
to leave them for me, so that I might be able to walk. I beg you, Lord, leave to
me the legs!” And I immediately began to feel them: they were very black, without
circulation, and from Friday to Monday, when they arrived, the doctors were surprised,
because they were red and the circulation was back in place! Astonished, they touched
me and they did not want to believe. I said to them: “Doctors, my legs hurt terribly,
but I believe that there is no one in the world, so happy to feel pain in the legs,
as I am in this moment!” The doctor on the 7th floor replied to me that never, in
38 years of service, had he seen anything similar.
The other two miracles that the Lord did for me, was the breasts and the ovaries.
The doctor had said that I could no longer have babies. I was happy, because I thought
that God had given me a natural method to not get pregnant. But, one and a half
years later, I see that my breasts began to grow, to expand and to be reformed.
I was amazed, and when I went to the doctor, he said to me that I was expecting
a baby! And with these breasts I nursed my daughter!!!...
To God nothing is impossible!
May the Lord bless everyone, immensely. Glory to God and glory to Our Lord Jesus
Christ. May God bless you!
I present to you my daughter. This child is a miracle! She is the daughter that
God gave me, with the burned ovaries! That which for the doctors was totally impossible!
But for God, nothing is impossible!!! Here she is, her name is Maria José!...
Gloria Polo actually lives in Colombia, and continues to exercise her profession.
She was left with enormous scares, but she leads a normal life, and now she is a
woman of great faith! She travels much; she transmits her testimony to thousands
of people, and fulfills the mission that God had confided to her. (She has the authorization
of the Church to do so). This is a translation from the Italian translation of this
testimony. The Italian translation is a translation of a CD (in Spanish), in which
is engraved the testimony that she gave in a church in Caracas (Venezuela), May