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This morning, at Communion, I was lamenting to Jesus for I am no longer able to manifest my state to the one I am supposed to. Yes, many times I feel filled with Him, I seem to touch Him everywhere; and even in touching myself, I touch Jesus - but I cannot say a word; I would but dissolve myself in Jesus, in the depths of the most strict silence. And if I am forced, or spurred on to speak – oh God!, what effort I have to make; I feel like a child who feels so very sleepy, and they want to wake her up by force, and so she throws a tantrum.
So, I said to Jesus: ‘You have deprived me of everything – of your sufferings, of your favors, of your harmonious, sweet and gentle voice. I no longer recognize myself from the way I have become; and if You let me comprehend something, it is so deep inside, that it does not find the way to come out. Tell me, my Life, how should I behave?’ And Jesus: "My daughter, if you have Me, you have everything, and this must be enough for you. If you feel filled with Me, it is a sign that I keep you in the house of my Divinity. If a rich person admits a poor one into his house, it is a sign that he will give to the poor one everything he needs, even if he does not always speak to him, or caress him; otherwise, it would be a dishonor for the rich one. Am I not more than the rich one? Therefore, calm yourself and try to manifest what you can to obedience; as for the rest, leave everything to my care."
